"Could you help me on this..." "Please be reminded that..." "I was wondering if you could..." "Just to clarify..."
Emails after emails. Now it seems that NOT bringing your laptop to school can be a pretty bad idea. Though I like the idea of going wireless and all but emails are becoming quite a hassle to me. Inbox, outbox, sent, received. And you thought that was tough? We have CC and BCC and the list goes on. To think being wireless, we could work our asses less, people mail you like as though they are talking on the phone. And the best part is, not only one group does that, the whole lot does that! Now, you came up with this brilliant idea? Ain't the word spam found in their dictionaries?
Dates after dates. And I'm not talking about 'dates' as in
'Hi, I'm Hafez, you want to go out someday with me' dates, I'm talking number, months, year
'dates'. Please take note of following point.
Hafez gets really cranky if..
(1) He hasn't smoked for the whole day
(2) The performance date is nearing in less than a week
(3) He is sleepy and tired
(4) He is not feeling well
(5) you piss him off real badly and continue to do so during his presence
I don't want to sound like some big boss around cause may I repeat, I don't like authority that much either. So screw this whole "I'm boss" thing and treat each other like respectable adults.
I
seriously thing I need to go for an anger management class if this persist. Sheesh.
It's day two tomorrow and we have two more days to go. Anyone wants to kill me??
.: Say WhaT yOU WanT tO :.
She was sitting at the last row of the empty auditorium. They were playing something on the screen but my attention was to acknowledge her first. She gave me that smile she always gives me whenever we meet. I stood behind her and tucked my head low to land a kiss on her head. We talked and I asked her what she was doing here. Then we kissed. We kissed long enough to make me realize what I was doing. I pulled back. No, I was doing the wrong thing. This is all wrong. She agreed that we shouldn't continue this. But, we did it again, and this time it was much longer than the kiss before. I must be dreaming. She opened her eyes suddenly while we were kissing and started laughing. She wasn't laughing, she was practically bursting out with tears! What?!
I woke up after that. Shit, it was all just a dream. I swear I thought it happened. I mean, how often do you get a dream and thought to yourself, "shit, that was real". Maybe that was a really far fetched dream but I hope it's not going to be a dejavu. If it's ging to be one, then I think my anti Hafez group will be much bigger compared to what I'm having now. Right...
Was pretty sick for the past two days. Down with a stomach ache, head ache, what other aches do you have aches and not forgetting the famous fever to top it all up. Thanks to this companions, I'm able to lead a happier life. Not! But I had to thank them cause with them around, I get to take a little break from reality.
"How many girls have you kissed?" she asked.
"He? He kisses everyone. And not all of them are his girlfriends" my friend replied.
Now wait just a minute (well if you noticed, I'm kind of jumping here and there) since when did I just do... oh. Okay. I get the answer now. ANd the best part is that the friend who replied is in the statement too. Really? Was that suppose to mean something? Made me wonder how did the question come about again? Beats me.
Time now is 3 am and ticking. I'm tired but I'm not sleepy. I want to do some work but I'm just not in the mood. I want to go out, but it's getting pretty dark now. (Like duh! Highest class of all bimbo's imitation) I want to eat, but there's nothing to eat except KFC. I want to smoke, but I can't get a good spot here. I want to exercise, but.. hey wait, I don't exercise in the middle of the night. I want to laze around, but it's too boring. I want to surf the net, but it's stupid to do aimlessly. I want to blog hop, but I don't read people's blog except people close to me. I want to stop this I want to section, cause it's getting rather irritating and like my friend said..
"you sound like a grown baby"
Do I? Maybe I do? I don't know. Must be that manja side. Can I cuddle up to someone.. please.. anyone.. I need a good cuddle up session. I miss them!!
.: CouLd We :.
I would have loved to smile throughout the whole scene but I just hate being accused for something I didn't know. And the best part of this whole drama is that it happened years ago. Give it a break will ya? It's not like as though it made such an impact in your life that it made you a cripple! Sheesh. Please stop your comments on how I run my life. You ain't even my mum!
Besides the whole dramatic twist which was mentioned above, my day was fun. Was at Grandma's house in the morning and it was swarmed with my cousins, aunties, uncles, nephews, nieces.. and the list goes on. Parted after a short meet up cause the family had to head to the other Grandma's house. Hmm, no comments about this part.. Now you get the hint?
The family met up with the others later at the night to continue 'hunting people's houses'. Went to Nek Ju and Nek Busu's house. I think that's how you spell it. I don't really know them that well but they sure do know me. Err. What did I do? They always acknowlegde me as 'anak tina' and it always has this tagline after that. It goes.. "eh dah besar eh anak kau"
We are going to continue the journey tomorow night. I'm actually very excited about tomorow cause the new drums are coming in! Yipee! How good can your day be? New drums in the morning and collection at night. And I'm not going to let Mummy play the small hand drum! Hehe.. Naughty me. Going off to 'destress' now. To all the people who messaged me...
SELAMAT HARI RAYA! MAAF ZAHIR AND THE BATINS! IF I DO WRONG THINGS AND DOINGS TO YOU, HARAPING YOU ALL MAAFKAN SAMA SAYA BABES. LUP SAMA YOU ALL MANY MANY LAHZ.. AND DONT MALUING ASK ME COME YOUR HOUSING! AS LONG AS YOU GOT KUIH TARTS, I HAPPY ALREADY!!
.: That WaS FuN :.
Time is 12.16 am. I've been getting 'Raya' messages since 8 pm but I don't know who they are. Ooops. Sorry, I changed phones, so I don't really know who messaged me, unless of course you left a name behind for me to go 'ah so that's you'
I'm definately looking forward to Raya tomorrow. It's the only time I get to see the whole family together, hopefully smiling. Please no crying scene cause it just defeats the purpose of having a nice holiday. Though I know we have this please forgive me and all thing but seeking forgiveness should be a frequent thing and not just specifically on this festive day. Might as well call it 'Selamat Hari Minta Maaf'
I'm not going to blog too long now cause the lontong is calling for me!
.: I LoikE :.
If you look at the dates (of the entries, that is) it's obvious that I've not been blogging for quite sometime now. I wouldn't place the word 'Busy' in "I've not been blogging frequently is because I'm ______" cause the word 'Busy' seems to be my second name instead.
"Hi. I'm Busy. Hafez Busy. Nice to meet you Care Free"
I think the word that would best fill up the blank would be lazy. Ah yes, the classic word for all demanding questions. The word lazy reflects alot about a certain person but you see, lazy could also mean, "I'm lazy to blog cause I'm busy working on something else". A rare occasion but shit happens!
People always assume I'm attached to someone. Do I need to have this "I'm not attached" sticker on my forehead to tell people that I'm single but not really available? So you want an answer? Fine. The secret is out. I'm attached. Not to one, but to two! I'm currently attached to school work and two timing her with part time work. And I'm happy with her, or better, with them.
Hari Raya is around the corner. It's like my official "see mum! No laptop" day for me. Hope it works..
.: WheRe :.
So after many days (felt like years) of not blogging, I'm finally back! Yes, I'm back, like it or not. My computer was going through a really tough time. All this anti-spyware conflicts, trojans, viruses (makes me wonder which bloody arse came up with the idea of screwing up computers) it has now settled down a little. It's still going through it's PMS mode, so I'm taking it really slowly now (and that includes lag time mind you)
Opened up my mailbox to see a wonderful number, 41. 41 in the inbox, and that excludes all the junk mail. I was feeling really messed up this past few days. Made me realised how important my laptop is to me. Yes it is very important, especially at a crucial time like this. I owe people RJs and proposals and the list goes on.
I'm not going to blog about my 'other' days as it's as boring as hell. Or more like I've no mood to blog about what has already passed. I've been really tired, or more like lazy. Arghz! I'm so fickle minded! Ahakz. Speaking of which, I'm about to talk about a special 'her'.
Was on the way back home with Zul, and this girl was smiling at me from a distance. Was telling myself "is this hot chick smiling at me or at Zul?" As we came closer, I finally realised who it was. It was 'her'. She gave me her hand, and in an instant I kissed it. It's like our trademark since secondary three, I think. She asked for my number, and I gave it (I think this is the forth time I'm giving it to her) She had to go so she gave me a goodbye kiss... and.. I can't.....
"Be a fool for kisses, but don't be fooled by a kiss"
That was the line I came up with. It explains alot. It's quite clear cut so if you can't understand it, then I suggest you come to me personally for an explanation. Let me tell you the story...
Back in secondary three, I'll take the train to school with my friend who stays in my area. As guys, it's second nature to look out for hit chicks. That's when she came into the picture. We usually take the same train each morning and as we approached Jurong East, she will board the same train as ours. My friend will usually steal glances at her. I wasn't bothered much by her cause I was attached to someone at that time. So we see her practically everyday, that means 5 times a week.
My friend wanted to get to know so I came up with this stupid plan. Why not we take the earlier train, then as the train passes by Jurong East (cause we already knew the timing of the trains very well) we will wave at her. If she waves back, that means he has a chance. I always come up with stupid ideas, that work most of the time.
So we did just that, and the result? Waa laa. She waved back! So I told my friend, so there you have it, you chance. So here's the catch, my friend wants to know her but he doesn't have the balls to ask for her number. This is where I come in. So I did just that. I went all the way to her, asked for her number and got it. This was what I said...
"Hi, my friend wants to get to know you. Was wondering if you could do me a favour and give it to him cause apparently he wants to be friends with you"
Her reply?
"He? Oh okay. I'll give it to him, but if you give me yours"
That's where it all started. First it was messages, then it was calls.. then dates... She became mine. Not that I'm proud or happy about it but we both were attached and it wasn't me who wanted to know her in the first place. There was this time, we were on the train together. She's very manje so she was hugging me throughout the whole journey, my friend who wanted to know her saw us. He came to us with that 'fuck you bastard look' and pushed me back... End of story, I don't want to continue.
We met up a few times after we graduated from our schools (shes a convent girl) Each time we meet, it feels like as though we have been attached since day one. I'll meet up with her once in a blue moon. The last time I saw her before this was when we were on the train. She was on the way to work, I was going somewhere, I forgot. Met her after that at her workplace to fetch her home, only to find out that her mum was picking her up...
She was one of the few that made a big impact on me. I would be lying if I said I didn't miss those 'jiwang' days. I would be lying if I said I don't miss her.. but yeah.. that's her... Can't I have a duplicate?
.: CouLd We BriNg iT BaCk :.
Was reading
Aisyah's blog and I came upon this questionaire that she posted. Go have a look at hers. Click
here and it will direct you there. The title of the post is
on or off? It's the same as mine here so don't venture too far back. Mine has
'extended' cause I'll give my thoughts about it so it won't sound so much like a Friendster chain thing (you know those stupid 'pass this or Friendster will close down' things) Here it is.
About girls, Turned ON, OFF or DON"T CARE
1. Is taller than you:
OFF (Don't want to tip toe to kiss my girl)2. Is shorter than you:
ON (They look cuter)3. Wear braces:
OFF (What?!)4. Has blue eyes:
DON'T CARE (Cause I'll never date a caucasion)5. Has green eyes:
OFF (I don't want a 'Green Day' girlfriend!)6. Has Hazel eyes:
ON (Have I told you hazel eyes looks hot!)7. Has Brown eyes:
ON (Stare in them)8. Drinks alchohol:
OFF (They don't look hot when they are drunk)9. Smokes:
OFF (Girls don't look nice as smokers)10. Plays sports:
ON! (I don't want to comment so much)11. Smiles alot:
ON (I don't like boring girls)12. Calls you just to say Hi:
ON (I like the extra attention)13. Compliments you:
ON (Talk about extra attention)14. Good Dancer:
ON (I would sin if i said OFF)15. Wears jewelry:
DON'T CARE (Unless of course you look like the makcik from Geylang)16. Smiles when you enter the room:
ON (It could just melt me)17. Has Brown hair:
ON (just streaks of it is nice)18. Has black hair
: DON'T CARE (Don't most girls have black hair?)19. Has blonde hair:
OFF (Golden monkey!)20. Makeup:
ON (But not too much of it!)21. Can make you laugh at any given point of time:
ON (I love girls who can make me laugh)22. Loyal:
ON (No question about that)23. Quiet:
OFF (Boring!)24. Noisy:
OFF (When I say talk doesn't mean you have to shout!)25. Cries
: DON'T CARE (I'll cry with them)26. Plays the guitar:
ON! (Looks of Raven maybe?)27. Plays drums:
ON! (Off course!)28. Sing:
ON (shows confidence!)29. Her buffs:
N/A (eerr..)30. She can draw:
ON (I love artsy fartsy girls!)31. Easily jealousy:
ON (weird huh? But Jealous girls look cute. Hehe. Shows they love you!)32. Doesn't eat meat:
DON'T CARE (whoever came up with the questions?)33. Doesn't eat vegetables:
DON'T CARE (even I don't eat them myself)34. Has a tattoo:
OFF (unless you're not a muslim)35. Has a lip ring:
OFF (eeee)36. Has a tongue ring:
OFF! (double eeee!)
That's about it! I thought it would never end. It's a Sunday. Practice at the mosque was good. The kids there learnt quite fast. Thought them this really simple 'universal' beat. It's called universal cause if you were to apply it to any other malay song, it could still be used! Wa La! That's called 'universal'.
Stayed home the whole day. Helped my mom do the house chores as she was sick. It's been a really long time since I helped mum with the chores. Till I forgot how to operate the washing machine! Shows how long that was! Just to find out that I had to close the lid to let the water run! Doink. Talk about being an idiot!
Tomorrow's going to be a Monday. The drums that were suppose to come in are not coming. The school hasn't sent in the Purchase order yet. Talk about being efficient. Don't blame anyone on my side as it's an external thing. Speaking of which, I was thinking about Percussion Ensemble (yes I think of them almost 24/7) who will take over me once I leave? I think they will do just fine without me around. I'll just have to take one and groom him/her. I'll need to 'promote' the person!
That's about it. By the way, I've given up...
.: I trieD :.
I'm currently addicted to the song 'Gemuruh' by Wings featuring Amy Search. Ah yes, classic 'jiwang'. Though I can't understand half the lyrics (due to my lack of knowledge of the malay language) it still drags me into the 'emo' mood. I was listening to the song on my MP3 on the way back from work and I swear tears started to roll down my cheek. I had to act as though my lenses were giving me problems. I don't know why, but it happened.
Woke up to realized that the whole family wasn't around. Mum went to the immigration center to get my brothers pictures changed. I was lazy to clock in early for work so I stayed home till the late afternoon and headed off for work. Was suppose to go in at 1 PM but I ended up at work around 4 plus. Shows how much I enjoy working. I figure since I'm so free (but I haven't even started doing any of my school stuff) I arranged the links found at the side.
<--- Please do check your URLs and tell me if I got any of it wrong. It's under ENCORE. Took me quite some time to arrange it alphabetically and to re-link some of them. I added a few more people in the list who I promised to do so months ago. Okay, I've done it finally! Hip hip hooray! So don't tag me to say "hey where's my link?" Unless of course you never did mention about it in the first place.
The shop was pretty much quite today. In fact it was too quite. I decided to do some work with paper and pen. I didn't bring my laptop cause Vieda's mum will probably scream at me for switching it on. Always assuming I'm playing with it. I don't even have a game in my laptop! Except for the default games like Solitaire and pinball, other then that, not even a single thing that can keep me awake through the night!
Equipped with a pen, loads of paper, a calculator and a memory the size of a 125 MB thumbdrive, I scribbled the paper with figures and names. All percussion ensemble related cause I needed to come up with figures for the different events. I think I'm going to be dead cause after calculating and summing up the total cost, the price? $300! Shit, how the hell am I going to get that amount from the advisors who just gave us $3000. I'm sure to be question about the amount. Please spare me. The school is rich!
I felt really bored, so went out with Mas Taufiq (the chef) to walk around Orchard towers which was opposite us. Went over to Forum which was across the street to get a Mc Chicken for me to break fast later during the day. Brought it back and 'editted' my burger. I've officially created a new burger for Mcdonald's. It's called the Mc Apiz! I was kidding about that. It's actually called 'Curry Mc Chicken with melted cheese!' Sounds nice right? Err. Okay.
Today is like the official 'ang moh' nights out cause everywhere I turn, there's sure to be a caucasion guy with some local girl. Found out that they are all navy people (or was it the US navy) I don't know but yeah, they just landed on our shores and are going around to get laid! And I'm not kidding about that. They were practically hanging around Orchard Towers to look for prostitutes. It's pretty obvious cause there's where you get them. Please don't ask me how I know cause again, it's pretty obvious!
But besides the point that the caucasions were roaming the streets of Orchard, there were alot, and I mean ALOT of couples fighting today. I think there was this underground competition going around that I don't know about. Maybe it's called 'WC SAY GTL' It's like the short form of 'Who Can Scream At Your Girlfriend The Loudest' They were screaming and fighting over God knows what on the streets. Yes the streets. I wouldn't mind if it was in some lift lobby or near some cafe but the streets? Makes you want to know what they were fighting about. I actually did just that on my way back to the shop. I stood there at watched as they screamed at each other. If only I could smoke, I would have stayed there and ate popcorns while I was at it!
Made me think back of my past relationship/s. I remembered the only time I did something close to that was went I slapped my girlfriend under the block. And that was the first and last time I would slapped a girl. I cried after slapping her cause I felt so guilty slapping her. Long story but if you want to know more than you could ask me personally, though I don't really enjoy talking about past relationships. But like they say, the past makes your future a better one. Was there such a saying? I don't know.
It's officially a Sunday, meaning I'll have to go to the mosque later to practice my mini concert with my friends. Pretty much excited cause it would be a first time thing in the mosque. Hope the respond will be good. I think that's about all of it for today.
Oh yeah, Baby Alynn, if you're reading this, you relinked your blog. I don't have you new URL! And sorry eh BAby kalau I never reply your MSN. Miss you lah Baby. Haha
.: ThaTs WhaT She SaiD :.
Attended CREATE's meeting in the afternoon with Mummy. The outcome? I'm dead! Have to submit this and that (Bi-Monthly reports, Name List, Next year's workplan) And have I started working on it? Well, you guessed it right! I''ve not even scratched the surface (well, actually I did but it's just a small dent) I'm new in this business (though my contacts are growing bigger by the day) so spare me the deadlines. I can't work on pressure.
Was waiting outside the meeting room and I met up with an old good friend of mine, Shaun. It's been a really long time since I met him (though we are in the same school) Met up with Irene too. I've just realized that since my departure from Drama, I've not seen much of the members except Natasha who's in my class (no more 'hey love, I'll come pick you up from your class') She's sitting at the next table, so it's easy to communicate now.
"You keep talking about her everyday!" he said.
Hold your horses now. Since when did I do just that? Uhuh! (it's pronounced as ah-ha) I think it's just too damn bloody obvious. What? It's not that I want to right? I see her everyday, and it's all about work! And no I'm not smiling. Fine, I'll quit talking about her if it makes everyone happy. Sheesh.
Was in the library in the afternoon (if you realized, I'm actually blogging from end to start) when I saw this book from a distance. It's called SONIC and it's all about graphic designs. Made me remember my secondary school days when I learnt from my art teacher about graphic designs. He thought me personally so it wasn't a school thing. Made me realized how much I could have done if I went on with my little quest of finding the ultimate design.
So I promised someone that I won't talk about my Babies, Mummy and Percussion Ensemble anymore (cause she said my blog is infested with this words, need to improve my vocabulary) I'll talk about.. shit. No I mean shit as in what the hell do I blog about?! I can't blog about my life cause if I did, it's no longer a blog, it's called a personal diary. I can't blog about life, then it will sound emo and that's like the 'in' thing now. Can't talk about world issues too cause I would probably be arrested for any wrong remarks (though I think Singapore is opening to freedom of speech, ya right) Forget it, I'll blog aimlessly (if there's such a term for aimless blogging)
Time now is 12.37 and counting. My eyes are sleepy. My body is aching after carrying the heavy load on my back. And Mummy is still awake! She's busier than I am! Haha. I brought back a few stuff for Sunday's practice session at a mosque. I've volunteered to help the students there put up a mini 'Raya' performance. My token? Well, I don't want any form of incentives. Just want to help out in a good way. It's a mosque we are talking about here.
Now that I've said what I want to (I'm actually feeling rather 'high' now cause it's been awhile since I had a good rest) I think I need a long vacation after all this as finished. I think I want to go 'Mia-ing'. I want to.. I want you..
.: SLeep :.
Her: Hey. Nice picture you got there.
Apiz: Eh Hi. Really? Thanks.
Her: Girlfriend?
Apiz: She? Nope. She's my friend.
Her: Serious? The legendary Hafez is not attached?
Apiz: Even heroes need breaks you know. Haha
Her: So you like her?
Apiz: Why you asked? Haha. She's single if you're interested.
Her: You two look really good together. Thought I let you know.
Apiz: Really? Thanks. But I don't intend to commit now. And I don't think she would ever like the idea of me and her. Haha
Her: Why?
Apiz: It's complicated. Anyways, why do you even bother? She's just a friend that's it.
Her: Why the cold shoulder? How have you been?
Apiz: I've been busy lately. Actually I'm doing some much needed work now.
Her: Sorry to bother you. But I just wanted to say I miss you.
Apiz: Where are you getting at?
Her: Can't I say I miss you?
Apiz: You can say that but you know I'll never reply you with an answer that will make you happy.
Her: Why you being so bad? Can you please change the picture? It's disturbing.
Apiz: Now you have a problem with my picture? What's next? Who I hang out with after school?
Her: Hey, I'm trying to be nice here okay!
Apiz: I'm sorry but I really don't need this now okay. Stop intruding into my life. You're not my girlfriend.
Her: I was.
Apiz: Yes you were. But it's the past. You ditched me remember? Need I repeat the past? Is there anything else you want to say? I really have no time to argue with you now.
Her: Fine. Leave it as it is. Here I am trying to correct my mistake and you're avoiding me. You can go woo that stupid girl of yours!
Apiz: What the fuck do you want? You want me to say sorry. Okay I'm sorry. You want me to say I forgive you. Okay I forgive you. Happy?
Her: Fuck you!
Apiz: Sorry, not interested. Bye... *
*edited for better understanding.
Sometimes I wonder why I go the extra mile...
Didn't go to school today cause I was just plain tired/lazy. Was (and still am) at my Grandma's house. Played PS2 till really late last night (and I shall continue again today). Went to Yamaha to get myself a Zildjian bag. Cost a bomb but it's the investment we are talking here. Heard that Fadila wanted the bag. Well, I got it already, we could share..
Went for percussion Ensemble practice today. The practice? Left me speechless. Met up with the new instructor Philip. My impression of him? He rocks lah! Not only rocks, but rocks to the max! I enjoyed myself so much, I was closed to fainting (okay I was over acting about that part but I was just dazed looking at my Babies play the drums)
Though it's all happy here and there, I still new to work on a few more admin stuff. Guys, girls, ladies and gentlemen, if I don't respond to your messages or MSN I'm really sorry. Not that I have anything against you, but I'm just caught up with loads of stuff. Please understand. I'll get back to you after I'm done. Promise..
I'll upload the pictures of the bag I bought tomorow, maybe. Now, I've just finished half of what I'm supposed to do. I'm getting a hang of receiving loads of email now. Used to think it was just rubbish but seems to be the only way of communication in RP!
My new Babies will be coming down next week. Really excited about the whole thing. Just let Monday come fast! Please! Please...
.: I HaD My ChanCe :.
Well you see, I'm a guy. Not being stereotyping or bias or whatsoever, but guys (in general) are the more bad tempered species compared to the girls. But for me, I blow up quite easily. So don't you dare try PLAYING AROUND WITH ME SHITHEADS!
I was kidding about the last line. But anyways, I think I did blow up in class just now with my team mates. I got so freaking mad I had to leave the class to cool down. If I wasn't that tired and sleepy, I would have thrown the chair I was sitting down on them, but I figure we don't have 'teachers' in the school, so any violence that happens go straight to the police!
But anyways, today is a tiring day, though I was pretty much dead at work. I'm giving myself a short break now cause I need 'Hafez' tomorrow during practice. Hmm, I'll update proper next time. The clown needs a time out. What? Face paints don't come waterproof you know!
.: MaYbE :.
The last time I felt like as though I had a chance at something was earlier in the year when life was as carefree as doves in the sky. For God's sake, I sound like a wuss when I type down those lines, but anyways, besides the point that my default template lines are limited, I'm having that 'feeling' again. Nothing to do with work that's for sure. Just that 'thing' that's going on. Ah, you wouldn't understand even if I told you. That was really random, so forget you ever read that. Sheesh.
School, or might I say class, was fun today. The class was significantly broken into two groups, emo gang and comic relief gang. I won't go into details about how class was cause it was just to funny and I don't know where to begin, but it still rocks my balls. Oh yeah, that line, 'rocks my balls' sounded kind of wrong, in fact very wrong, when I told it to my friend, who so happens to be a guy. Took back my words after realising how messed up that line was.
Went to work after school today. Was at Larissa cafe. Got quite pissed off with my manager's mum cause she scolded me for no apparent reason. The toaster got busted the other day, due to some bread which got stuck, causing the whole shop to experience 10 minutes of 'not paying bill' moment. So she said I was at fault cause I taught them how to toast garlic bread with the garlic on it first, toast it then serve compared to toast bread, spread the garlic then serve. Get what I mean? Nevermind how it's served but yeah, Mas Taufiq gave me that 'I told you she's one angry woman' look. I kept quiet cause talking back wouldn't help much. She's indonesian and I'm Singaporean. Language is one the barriers we have around in the cafe. Though I seem to understand what they are saying but I only understand 40%, no make that 30% of what they are trying to say. Shows how much I actually pay attention to their complicated Indonesian conversation. Not that I'm being an ass here but hey, I got a C5 for malay. What you expect me to do?
On the way back home, I suddenly thought of 'her'. No, not 'her', the other 'her'. There were loads of 'what if' questions going through my head. I gave up the idea of thinking any longer cause the 'what if' questions seem to have more negative than positive answers. Oh well, we will let time decide how we will move on from step 1. Well, step 1 is get to know your target well. I sound like a pervert more than a guy who wants to woo a girl. But wait, ain't all guys sound like that when they want to woo someone? Right? No? Don't try to get out of this. Well, I'm not saying it directly to anyone now am I. I'm saying it in general. Ah, that famous 'in general' line. Remember those lines from my facilitator who taught me back in year 1. He always uses that 'in general' line to 'indirectly' tell me stuff. I think of all the people I've put down, he is one facilitator I can never challenge with.
I'm notorious for challenging authority. Not that I'm proud of it but if I think you're doing it the worng way, I'll have to voice out my opinion. Right? I still remember this time when I actually scolded this facilitator back in year one cause she taught us in a completely different style compared to our previous facilitator. ANd you knwo what was the best part, it was only her first day teaching in the school. I pity her, now, but yeah it has passed. News of it became pretty hot, made my previous facilitator come back to look for me to say "give her a chance will you"
I think I'm heading to bed now to get some much needed rest. I think I've made up my mind. I'll be going back to drama soon. Pretty soon. I got invited back to direct a play. Well, maybe I won't be performing at TRCC, which was my last request before I left the school, but directing this small play would probably bring me closer to making the bond between the drama members and me close again. It's nice to know that people still want you around and that you still want to do what you like to do. Well, like I promised the devil aka Mr Ganesh that I'll help bring up Percussion Ensemble, I think I've done enough to make it a little more stable compared to years before me. I'll probably leave after I find someone to replace me. It's time to go back to what I love most.. What you expect? I've been doing that for 6 years!!
.: it's WriTTeN aLL OveR tHe FaCE :.
It's not so simple to put thoughts down to words. Sometimes, words become weapon of choice to abuse what was thought to be the safety barrier. Isn't it strange to see how people react. Sitting down and thinking wouldn't be much help. At times like this, it would be best to wake up from the dream.
The presence itself can make you shiver. Meetings like this can make you think. But why go through all the trouble for one. Maybe it was God's decision, but don't we suffer at our own hands that way. Going through the trouble of making up our own life when it is already predestined. Something we ought to think about when dark skies start to shelter us.
Random thoughts is what we refer it as. Let the mind speak and you'll see how it is translated as. Shadows that seem to light up the darkness. But don't shadows come from the presence of light? So many questions to be asked but yet the answers seemed far fetched. All we can do is wait and be patient.
There wasn't such a thing back then. It was based on how it looked like. Based on how it could be achieved at the fastest time. It was rage against time. It was all about survival of the fittest. But indeed like all good things, it comes to an end. It doesn't have to be proven to be pronounced dead. A million thoughts can never be put together to form a structure.
Telling people from the start won't do any good. Unless of course the connection between both was fixed before. So much to do with so little time left in the hands of pain. Giving up everything is not the only solution to all solutions. Neither can problems cause tears. Confusion is the best. Let it all rest. And who ever said absence makes us weaker...
.: StuCK :.
Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Feeling relaxed now? Ah good. If you are, then you can start reading my blog. I rather you read it while you're feeling relaxed than reading it on impulse. Wait, is there such a thing as that? Forced to read? But anyways, I feel like blogging proper today cause I realized I've been blogging about my Babies and Mummies. So, someone did mention or might I say 'noticed' how much I blog about them. I might as well rename my blog as 'Life is about my Babies' instead. Err, cool? I'll stick to the current one.
Well, I was supposed to follow Zul and his MCG gang yesterday to Geylang but I skipped the trip cause I figure I rather take my beauty sleep before I get any weaker than before. So did I get my beauty sleep. Well in fact, I slept the whole night yesterday. Got home in time, or rather a few minutes later, to break fast with my 'ever mad at me for not coming home often' family. My mum prefers me to be home than hang around outside aimlessly. Mummy's boy I am. So you see, I slept like a log (wonder you came up with that line) and woke up at around 2 am to have my breakfast than did some much needed work. I realized that there is no one day I can stay away from school cause there must be something for me to do. But you see, I like to divert my attention so much that I never get the work done. Ain't we males funny creatures. We can never multi task like how females do it. Eat female hormones? Sheesh, unwanted things might start to grow! Ooops.
Was supposed to go to work at Delifrance but after much thought, I decided not to. Not that I have any thing against anyone there but yeah, I have my reasons. So before I go on telling the whole world about my life sorrows (which you know I will never do, directly) I would want to apologize to Fadilah for not turning up for work. I have this feeling that I'll be fired by next week. It's that 'shit I'm fired soon' feeling, again. Yes it's the second time. I want to work but I can't work. Not during this month of course. I won't go on blabering about my 'I can't work, I'm busy, stupid excuses' story cause I know (or I hope you all know) that I'm pretty much tight now with school. Really tight in fact. My social life? It starts only at 11 pm and ends at 12 midnight. That's how pathetic my life is. Trust me, I don't have a nice social life.
Reason why I'm single, it's not that I can't commit but it's just that I have loads of work to do. This girl dumped me (or more like didn't want to go on having a relationship with me) cause she was scared I wouldn't have time for her. Well, she's quite right to some extend but I could have taken time off my busy life for her. I could have (or maybe tried to at least) but what would the future be like? Now that I'm stuck between so many worlds, I'm spoilt for choices (and here I'm standing all alone)
Today was pretty much a time for me to reflect. Was suppose to go work at 1 pm (at Larissa Cafe) but I ended up clocking in at around 4 +. I was walking around town looking for some hook for my djembe but I got lost. Lost? Yes, not technically lost cause I know (not all of course) how to get my way round town easily. I work in the town area for God's sake. I can (and did) wear my slippers, dressed to impress the people who wear pajamas to bed, and come to town. I don't really 'dress up' when I go to town unless of course there's some occasion going on like for example, if we go dine in some fancy restaurant (MacDonalds?) and try to hook up with the counter girl (Aton?)
Got to work, feeling really tired. Fasting month and here I am walking around aimless. I got off from Orchard MRT, went to Paragon, then walked around Paragon, headed down to HMV, hoping to see a familiar face down there. Got out and headed to Lucky Plaza, like as if I ever believed in Luck, then jumped to Wheelock, out and into Far East Shopping center then out again to Forum then, wait, hold on. That's about it, I went to work after that. And the time I took to go to all this places? 2 hours I think. I was alone at that point of time so it was more of a 'now where do I go next' Kinda made me miss my Wednesday shopping buddy cause each time I go out with her, it will be like 'eh, after this go where ah?'
Work was tiring as usual, it's an easy job but I had sudden crowds. Especially when it comes to breaking fast. Can't you guys like come in after I break fast? I should have placed a sign outside the store to say 'runner is breaking his fast now, please come back later after he is done working' if only I could do that. Speaking of which, I was suppose to go Singapore Polytechnic's iftar early in the afternoon but I was scheduled to work. Heard it was boring but hey, RP's iftar is next Friday, I'll be there and that's for sure.
Mummy Eliza called to say she was at Plaza Singapura. I forced her to come visit me. Hehe, sorry eh Mummy and THANK YOU, with capitals, for coming down. Lup sama lu many many ah. She got free food and ride home. So worth it right? I think she's sweet lor. What? I can't say she is, is it? Sent her home and went home. Met Zul halfway in the train, by coincidence. Hanged around for awhile then headed back home. The haze is killing me (like as though smoking doesn't) the first time I saw it, which was weeks ago' I swear I thought it was my contact lenses but only to find out days later that it was actually haze. It's back. Well, let me just say thank you to all that contribute to it! Let's all pray that school is closed because of it. But if it really does, than sheesh, I'll be one bored guy at home.
Oh yeah, on the way home with Mummy, we had this little topic about the dangers of haze. Mummy! It's dangerous lah. You don't believe you go check out this site.
http://www.rand.org/pubs/research_briefs/RB5066/index1.htmland for those out there who still think it's okay, you can check it out too. It's pretty much like inhaling second hand smoke, so do check it out. Especially people with breathing problems.
Something random now, I was talking with Zul the other time about relationships. There was this one scenario where we talked about relationships. So what if you were in this scenario where you have two girls who you like. One is attached while the other is not. One gets pretty much uncomfortable when you're close to the other one. She doesn't have to say it but her actions much show how she feels. But you can't date the other one cause if you do, controversies will definitely arise. So what do you do. Wait, do you even know what I'm saying? I figure to cause I don't even know what the hell is going on. Makes me wonder, what ever happened to 'Huna Ai Lawa Faliz Salmira Fasha'? You don't have to know what it means or what it is referring to but a major clue would be it's a name. Well it is. Zul and me came up with it a long time ago. From 5 to 11! Shit, now I got to find a way to put the word 'ton' in it. Might as well make it even.
"kalau ku pilih si Huna, apa kata si Lawa. Kalau ku pilih si Lawa, Huna akan terluka. Perlukah aku pilih Ai sahaja..."
Mangkuk ah! That was the lyrics we came up with. A new version of the old Malay love rock ballad. Okay, that's about all I want to say. I think this is the longest (well I can actually go on if I want to) but I'll save your eyes from reading anymore of my crap. From a scale of 1-10 on how much I enjoyed my day, I would give it an 8, partly cause of Mummy and Zul but yeah, it's been awhile since I had a good weekend. I'll leave you guys with a picture I took the other day. I'll probably upload more soon...
.: PreTTy MuCh TheRe :.
I'm crazy with imagination now... here I am standing in front of millions (okay maybe not millions) ready to make my speech. Dressed like as though today is the last day I'll be wearing something on to cover myself, i test the microphone to make sure its switched on and my voice ready to be heard. Here I go..
I would like to thank God firstly for making me a determined guy. Then I would like to thank the people of CCC for giving me the money to go get more Babies (here's the part where the crowd goes what the hell) I mean more instruments. Then I would like thank the people of percussion ensemble who has always been there to make me smile at the end of my boring classes. Not forgetting my Mummy, Fadila, who has always been there for me to lean on and Eliza who makes me smile even though I just feel like going back to sleep after a day's work. Erm.. I think that's about it. And ya.. I would lik... (the music goes on)
I'm the
happiest guy on Earth! May I repeat myself yet again! Today, the gang went down to Bras Basah and also Plaza Singapura to go get drums! I'm too happy to say more about it! It felt really good to buy more than we planned!
And I've decided, I'll be getting 'the claw' with my own money! Yes! I want that drum! Mummy I want it! You cannot play it! I want it!We took loads of pictures which I will upload tomorow in my Multiply site if I'm free. Work doesn't stop here cause I've got to make sure the transaction is smooth and I see what I want soon. Who wants to see the shopping list? Really? Bug me and I'll show you!
Eh, I cannot tahan already. It's freaking 2 am in the morning and I've just finished mailing people about this and that.
Happy lah happy lah.... I love you many many ah...
.: iTs BeeN MoNthS SinCe I FeLt tHIS HaPPy :.
So yes! I'm the happiest guy in the world. Okay maybe not the world but maybe the universe. Okay that's a little over the top but yeah, I'm jus happy. A few things.. to remind myself and also friends how busy I'll be (don't say I sombong lah, no time for you lah)
2nd November - Deeparaya
5th November - Clean & Green Week
22nd - 24th November - Create Fiesta
26th November - SPLASH!
1st December - Buzzer Bazaar
See?! How busy and happy I am. So cool! We got a new instructor, new drums.. everything new! I rocks lah! I don't know what else to write lah...
I love my babies.. (the members of Percussion Ensemble)
I love my babies to come.. (that's the drums)
I love my mummy.. (always there to support me)
I love my other mummy too.. (the slenge one, hehe)
I love my friends who helped me along the way.. (too many to mention)
I love you, and you especially you!!
Woohoo! I''m mad already. Doink!
.: Me :.
School is okay now but it's still freezing cold. Class was a drag but the facilitator (Luke) is an ass of a teacher so that's really rocking! My babies were a little off todaybut I figure it's due to the fact that they were fasting and also they were all tired. But at the end of the day, I pretty much enjoyed myself, when it came to doing karaoke.
Zul, Dan, Azhar, Umar and Kholiq were the people involved in our little mini recording session in school. And not forgetting my dearest/cutest (dah jangan kembang) Mummy who was there though she didn't know nuts about the song let alone the lyrics. We were singing (actually screaming) to the song of Sheila on 7. It's an Indonesian band and the song was.. I forgot the title! When I remember it, Ill type it down. Was it aku pulang? I really forgot. Slip of the mind.
We had fun taking turns to sing. We recorded the whole 'event' and it turned out pretty much good for first timers like us! Mummy! Your voice damn sweet lah! The last song was the number hit single of the day. I'll probably post it up in the music section of my multiply to let you all laugh at how 'musically inclined' we are. But mind you. the piano was played live by Dan the man so get that right. I think I could start a new singing company..
Currently am very sleep, so I'm off to bed now. My friend made this (actually he asked) comment/question just now that made mi flip for a minute. "Pompan lawah tadi maner?" I was like "hey, lain macam jer"...
.: WheRe aRe YoU :.
Class?
Wasn't as fantastic.
School? Cold.
Classmates?
I was busy trying to figure out what to do next
Overall?
Bored? Tired? Sleepy? Grade C+?
So today there was Dikir Barat practice. Zul asked me down. I wanted to try play the 'i think damn easy to play' rebana. And guess what I found out. It's damn easy... NOT! It's so damn hard to play. So I'll have to learn in.. 1 month? Actually less than a month.
Hanged out with the guys and yes its all crap. Break fast at Long John's Silver, and it's also full of crap... I think I'm made of crap... I'm in lazy mood now. SO yeah.. go blog hop at another place...
.: SuDDENLy BaBe :.
I've uploaded a few pictures (loads of random) into my multiply site. Go check it out. I'll get it done proper once I'm in the mood.
http://apizisthename.multiply.com/.: CheeRs :.
Didn't work today. I think I've made up my mind and put aside Sunday for my family. It's been a long time since I went out with my family to dine outside. We decided to go to Causeway Point's (of all places) Courts to look at furniture. Mum wanted to get a new bed for the guys (That's me, younger bro and youngest bro) Were looking at bunk beds (I don't really like them though) then mum made a comment.
"You're hardly at home, so you should sleep at the top"
We had dinner/break fast at Sanur. The food? It's okay. I wouldn't say the best cause I've dined at other Indonesian Restaurant (I work in a Indonesian Cafe) and Sanur is just like any other normal restaurant (sheesh. Will I get into trouble for this?)
Found out that I'll be working for only a day next week. Damn, I'll be broke when my pay comes in (if I go on like this) I'll be very busy for the weeks to come. I'll try come up with a list now to remind myself.
Deeparaya Concert - Percussion Ensemble
Clean And Green Week - Percussion Ensemble
Splash! - Percussion Ensemble
Buzzer Bazaar Event - Percussion Ensemble
Deeparaya Concert - MCG (Percussionist)
Shawal Concert - Masjid Tentera
See, it's different from projects. Trainings can be more tougher. And of course more tiring. Well, it's a start and definately more exposure for the group. All I need now is my bloody funds! Where are my funds?! I'm so going to start killing people in my school (I was kidding about that point)
That's all for now. I've nothing else to say....
.: She :.
The ears are currently addicted to the sounds of AFI's 'Love Like Winter'. The eyes are best adapted to the dark. The mind is telling the rest to hit the sack while the body is busy retaliating and trying it's best to justify why it's still running the midnight shift. Working causes fatigue. People who get mad at you for no apparent reason causes stress. Constant thoughts causes suicidal attempts... but at of the day, it's faith that keeps us together.
Was looking through the list of names in MSN, hoping to find 'her'. Though I have almost close to 300 contacts, I don't talk to all of them or even try to start a conversation unless boredom seeks in. But 'she' is the reason why I'm still up at night. Though we meet on a regular basis, it can become quite painful to not see 'her' for even a day. It's not obsession, it's more of an addiction to have 'her' company. Love is never the subject. It's about how 'she' makes you feel after a hard day's of work. It's called comfort, a place to confide when it seems that the whole world is agaisnt you.
Besides the point that I miss 'her' alot, let me just remind the 'people' out there about my life. Well, I know there are certain 'people' who read my blog and will go on ahead to tell the other 'people' about what I've just posted, so I would really appreciate if the 'people' tell the other 'people' how bloody sickening it is. I don't freaking care what the hell you think of me but just back off.
My social life? See, I don't have a freaking enjoyable social life. The only time I get to hang out with my friends is when I'm not working or I've got no after school activities. I don't plan my social life activities. I don't say, "hey what about next week" It all happens simultaneously when we meet by coincidence. So don't come fucking tell me about priorities my fucking social life. Cause for starters, it sucks. If it was good, I wouldn't be working my ass of and complaining of how much fucking work I have to do. Get my point 'people'? I don't freaking care who want to 'terasa' here so like what people like me would say "pandai pandai lah eh fahamkan". I really got no time to entertain 'people' who hang around 'people' who lick your boots and act as if they are doing the right thing. For God's sake, we are in this together, so why fucking make a barrier? It's not like as though we don't shit in it! Screw the 'people' who started this whole mess!
Was out with Khai and Valent after work. They accompanied me to Centerpoint to get my mum a pair of shoes. I actually bought it for her a month back but she complaint that it was too tight so I had to go expand it. The people at Hush Puppies remembered me. Must be the hair. Valent went off earlier. Khai wanted to go get something for his dad so I figure I do him a favor (and myself) and followed him. We walked to PS (well you see, we were from Tanglin Mall, and we walked to Centerpoint, followed by Plaza Singapura. Singapore ain't that small) to try see what they have there. Finally got his shirt for his dad. Went back to work (at a different place) and a war was already going on. Don't get me wrong. War meaning that there were already customers there waiting to be served.
I think that's about it. I'm going to sleep soon cause I'm just to tired to think of what else to blog about. I say "Go get AFI's latest album!"
.: She MaKeS Me SmiLe whEn mY WorLD FaLLs ApaRt :.
