Put here anything you want like a disclaimer, welcome message, anything. Even a counter.

Currently listening to Justify by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. I'm feeling really messed up with so many thoughts. Maybe my Baby's right, I think too much. Things that shouldn't be thought about. Thing is, I don't like to share my problems if there isn't a need to. You may find it unnecessary but to me its important. That's why there's a need to think about it. I'm not even making sense. And the best part is, I don't even know how to continue. Explains the repetition of points. I'll just end it here.





Its like a maze each time I take a new route. Though it may seem to be new, its actually the same old route except they changed the tar on the road. And trust me, there isn't much change to it. Its not like as if I don't try, I do. But each time I do, I will have to go back to the same crossroad and turn right to where I think is the way back to the entrance. In other words, I never make it up till the end. So I might as well give up now then wait for the whole thing to devour me in. See, the thing is, I give up easily, but this time round, I've decided to take a step forward. Just give in what ever I can and see the outcome. Well, I already know what the outcome is going to be but its worth the effort. Why waste it? I might as well abuse what ever is left before I decide to commit suicide. I've lost track a few times. Actually, alot of times. I can't even count it with my fingers. Oh yeah, ad that includes my toes. Explains why I'm in this state right now. A point of no return. Ta da! Poof! Magic! See, no hands! What a bloody cliche. If all movies turn out to be like that, we might as well watch one and then assume all of the other movies. Sheesh. I don't have to make you understand what ever is written here or might I say type cause its all spontaneous blogging. Its a mixture of mixed thoughts and feelings. So many stories chucked into one. What? Paragraph? Okay fine.

Here

You

Go.

Happy now? Hope you are cause I don't see why I should blog about whats happening cause apparently too many things are happening at the same time, I find its hard to multi task. For God's sake Im no women. And they say, scientifically, that women are the better species for such task. I was thinking the same thing, inject female hormones but damn, I'm not going to be a bloody drag queen. That's not crazy, thats totally insane to the point I should be kept in IMH till I find a reason why people can turn mad just by thinking of their love ones. Oh yeah, and don't get me started on that. I just love you. Is that wrong? Just leave me alone. I think I know what I'm doing. I can't see the future that's for sure but shit happens!




Have you ever got symptoms of a fever but your body just doesn't feel hot? Or you wake up early in the morning and you have this really bad headache that won't go away. I think I'm falling sick but its taking a pretty long time. Kind of weird cause I've never really experienced it before. In simpler terms, nak sakit tapi tak sakit sakit.

I've been working my ass off for the past few days. Met alot of new faces along the way. Its nice to work there cause its like a really big family. As long as you have a Sentosa name tag on you, they will smile at you, regardless of what department you're from. So you may be from the F&B department, the people mending the attractions will still smile at you. And the best thing is, they don't give that 'do I know you smile', they give that 'hey, long time no see man. How have you been doing' kind of smiles. It's nicer to work this way. No more shit faces in the morning when you come to work, and trust me, just by looking at someone come to work with with a bloody long face can pull your mood down.

Somehow, I'm trying to motivate myself to work.Think I better start saving money and also getting a driving license. Met one of my friends the other time at Jurong Point and he is taking up his driving license already. Two of my other friends who stay in the vicinity also have their own bikes to play around with. I'm turning this year. I think I should start investing before I get freaking old. In fact, I feel old already. I never did dream that I will reach this age. Actually I have but I never thought God would let me live this long. Now, what the hell am I saying? Okay, I'm pretty much grateful.

The girlfriend is joining me tomorrow at Sentosa to work with me. Boss was looking for someone to help out so why not my own girl. Best thing is, he told everyone about it and now the girls are dying to see her. Yes, most of the staff members are girls. I don't know why, but yeah. Every morning when we have our little assembly, I'm surrounded by girls. Sheesh. I'm just glad they are nice to talk with and of course there are this little small talks here and there, which I know of! Funny people. One minute they are making fun of me and this girl and the next minute me and another girl. I was telling my girlfriend while I was on the way home.

Me: Can I touch any girl?
She: Touch them and I won't touch you anymore.
Me: Means I can't touch you also?
She: I'm not going to let you touch me with hands contaminated by other girls.

My girlfriend is so cute. Sometimes I wonder if shes kidding or for real. Oh yeah, she said I would know if she was telling a lie but honestly, I wouldn't know. Okay that was a lie but it's just difficult. jl hquwh lvcbwlv sbv nvw. I just felt like doing that. Now, back to sleep.




I think I've got mad. I really think so. See! Which idiot blogs and makes the think italic? Me! Okay maybe that's just one, what about making the time 'blogged' at 11.59pm when the time is actually 12.49 am and ticking! Trust me, I think I've lost it. I've lost my sanity. So in other words, I'm going insane. I don't know why, but I hear Prissy talking to me while I'm typing this down. It's like she's here reading whatever I'm typing down. Freaky? More like I'm starting to sound like the two girls. Now, that's more scary.

I've been standing, pushing, pulling, greeting, selling, asking, carrying, walking, running, speaking, laughing, directing, mimicking, bluffing, blushing and all the other words you can associate with work from 9 am till 7 pm and I'm still awake. That's freaking, fugging awesome! And the best thing is, I had my 'medicine' after work. So I guess that's one of the reasons why I'm up. I'm waiting for her to call me back. Apparently she hasn't. Maybe she doesn't want to disturb the boy who was suppose to sleep 2 hours ago.

Okay. I have to go before I faint...




After months of slacking around, the old dog has finally gotten up to learn new tricks. Well, the old dog happens to be me of course. I'm finally working but this time round for a short period of time, 6 days to be exact. I'm tired I must admit cause it's been awhile since I had that kind of motivation to do any form of money making. First day at work and it was pretty easy and half the time I was entertaining myself with my own jokes and entertaining the kids who wanted to buy ice cream with price tags way more expensive from the mama shop.

I was stuck with two kids from Myanmar and interaction was pretty limited. One of them only laughed when I made fun of the customers but it was only 'hi, so where you schooling' kind of conversations. For a moment I cursed myself for not attending filter listening lessons cause half the time the manager was nagging about how to do my work. For God's sake, can you just leave it alone. I'm doing my freaking job and you're just making noise about it. Talking about service quality, which idiot would actually smile to himself for 24 hours? I understand we must smile more but of course at the appropriate time, for example, when you want to give acknowledgement to someone or you know you're being watched. Other than that, I don't see why we need to put on a smile way bigger than a 'smil-o-meter' when no one is around. Maybe if you put my girlfriend in front of me, then I'll think about doing it.

My place became more of a information counter and half the time, no actually most of the time, I just gave directions which I know only God's knows to where it may lead. Being honest sometimes sucks cause they always have this 'then why the hell are you working here' kind of face after you tell them so I might as well say something though it may be wrong. What are the chances that they will actually turn around, come back and slap your face for giving the wrong directions. Well, I hope you see my point for directing you.

I'm tired and I'm overloaded with misses. Sheesh. I need a break.




(Faking a British accent) Oh my, have I lost my marbles. I totally forgot that its Chinese New year. Well, let me wish all my Chinese friends a prosperous year ahead. They say the Pig year is well, err, full of good and fat fortune. Kong Si Fa Cai, Cong Xi Fa Cai, Gong Si Fa Cai (asalkan kau faham, aku faham, understandable suah eh)

Not that I didn't realized that it's already Chinese New Year (its pretty obvious cause all most of the shops are closed) but I forgot that its going to last for a really long time. Trust me, I didn't even know my younger brother was having a day off tomorrow, okay fact is, the whole Singapore is having a holiday tomorrow, literally of course. Maybe I just accept the fact that I'm not doing anything beneficial during the long breaks.

Cousin of mine had a chalet in Pasir Ris, I figure I drop by with the family since I'm rotting at home. Reached pretty late and the party was full of people. Fareez and myself decided to take a walk cause we really had nothing to do, actually not really. I usually flirt with all my aunties and cousins and kids and moms and....

While we were walking aimlessly, I told myself, "Bloody hell, you're in Pasir Ris balls! She stays 15 minutes away from where you are!" Maybe I'm suffering from a Bimbotic sickness or syndrome cause the mind doesn't seem to think but it never came to me that I could visit her right at that moment. Well, I already had intentions to do so but never did I know that I had the chance to do it, like NOW! Trust me, I've been through hell and back. This is worst that anything that has ever happened to me.

Walked right up her doorstep, pressed the bell and there she was, standing right in front of me. We only had about 10 minutes to ourselves and that was enough for me to just fill up all the misses that I had inside of me. The feeling was one of a kind. Grr. I never felt so happy. Baby said I was suffering. Well yeah, who wouldn't?!

Left with a goodbye and we were back to where we started. Raheem called me to ask if I wanted to work. And of all places, it was Delifrance. I seriously think I'm jinxed. I always try to escape but it keeps coming back to haunt me. He said it was only up to Sunday so I guess its okay and since I'm not doing anything, I might as well work my ass off selling the same old bread that I used to sell.

I really wanted to work at Sentosa cause I just like meeting new people. Well, that's a lie cause I usually make fun of people who don't understand the language. Okay fine, so I am a little mean at times but I need to entertain myself too. Its not always a one way thing you know. We entertainers need entertainment too so that we are in a way motivated to do what we do best. Before I was with my girlfriend, I told Raheem that we could pick up chicks and check them out at the same time. Well, things have changed now and I'm sticking to one, and only one. Woohoo. Remembered the other time when I called her to let her hear the piano introduction to Rihanna's Unfaithful and she told me this...

She: you better not do that to me or I'll kill you.

I've got a girl who really likes me and the best thing is, I like her too. Well no.. I love her! Woohoo!












I like this picture.. That's it for today...





Before I go, I just wanted to show off share a picture with you. I drew this for Natasha for her Valentine's Day card. If you were thinking South Park, yes you are right. You got to click to enlarge the picture. I didn't take a picture of the card though. (if I did, you all will copy the idea) but the heart moves from one side to the other in the card.


Another picture that I would like to show off also share which made me laugh like crazy would be this.


It was my first attempt to do vector art during class last week. I seriously need to start doing some experimental vector art to grasp the skill. But I thought this particular picture is pretty good, good to laugh at that is. Laughs head off.

Currently listening to The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus album. Pretty weird band name but the songs are nice to listen to. The songs are quite similar to their other songs in their album and the songs are short too (less than 3 minutes long) But after listening to them for a few times, you'll start singing along with them eventually soon. I would recommend this album for those people who can handle a little noise. Check out this few titles.

• Face Down


• Damn Regret


• Justify

And please do don't download. Lets stomp out piracy. Yeah right. The day that happens, is the day technology goes haywire. Okay, now let's get to business, if you're a regular visitor to this blog, you would have noticed a few changes. Yes there are a few changes, like the icon you see next to the address. Let me introduce you to the guy at the top.


I got this guy from TDP studio so go check it out. I've also made a new link section. If you still haven't know how to navigate in my blog, I'll break it down for you now. So keep that in mind.

The Script: This is where you see my blog entries.
The Actor: Information about myself and also the place where my archives are.
Encore: Also known as links. I update regularly.
Backstage: Tag board.

So please don't ask me where my tag board is. And by the way, the words are there for a reason so just click it. Sheesh. I found a few pretty good sites. Go check them out if you're bored. I've included in it my links section. Its a mixture of stuff. Be prepared to have flash player in your computer cause some of the sites are in Flash.

Now, I'm off to find out more sites. Till we meet again..




Why must we make choices? I always believed that in life, there's only two options, yes or no. Which will lead to another two options, right or wrong. I don't know why I made them but choices come with a price tag. Sometimes you can afford it but most of the time, it either breaks you down or makes you a stronger person.


I always thought I knew everything. I thought I had it all, till it happened which made me realised how lost I really am. I lost it halfway. I lost what was important to me. Something which could help me till the end. I gave it up for something that would only last for the moment. I sold myself to something far more dangerous. I made a wrong move. The wrong choice.

But who is to judge who is right and wrong. Deep inside you know you will never smell success. You know deep inside you are indirectly committing suicide. Digging your own little grave. But now you're turning back. To find that path... Help me.




Its February the 14^th and every visible couple on the streets are either carrying bouquets of flowers, oversized bears or the best, both. Let me get this straight, does that mean that you love the person more on this so called auspicious day? So you go to the extend of doing something more surprising in that sense?

before I screw up anything, I just wanted to tell you that it was my girlfriend's opinion which I thought was quite true. Actually, very true.

So I figure, I would try to do something different. Try something that doesn't look too dramatic in that sense. Actually I had some ideas up my sleeve but I didn't dare pull it off cause I know she will be so dazed, she will not even say a single word to you. Trust me, my girlfriend is so sweet when she is in that daze.

There I was roaming around Bukit Batok in search of Miss Vicky's house. The girl was having a meeting with the Drama committee, old and new. All I could remember was the street and block number. Came to realised that I've been there before to study for my O' levels with Baby and her boyfriend once. I really felt like I was Scofield looking for Sarah cause all I knew was a place but I didn't know how to get there.

I found the block at last and decided to be Romeo for the day. Miss Vicky stays on the second floor...

Me: Look out the window, can you describe to me what you see.

She: Err, I see block 290A. Which window do you want me to see?

Me: Just look out the window.


Miss Vicky saw me and waves.

She: Where are you? I don't see you.

Me: I'm here look down.

She: Where? Oh you're there!

Me: Are you going to come down to say I love you or do I have to come up to get you to say I love you.

She: You come up.

Me: No you come down...


Heard from her that apparently Miss Serene said that the whole thing looked like a scene in Romeo and Juliet. I was thinking more like Prison Break, but still, its the idea that counts. I've never pulled of a stunt like this before and it was some sweaty business too. The weather was beautifully hot and the whole outfit didn't suit the moment. I wished I had put on a singlet cause it was really hot.

I was aimless cause I didn't plan the after surprised thing. Decided to go to the Botanical Gardens after much thought. I love the Botanical Gardens cause you get to release all this thoughts you have in your mind and the place is so calm and cosy. If you think it's like this couple spot well you got it all wrong. Its a place to think about stuff that you've kept inside. And we did just that. We just sat and talk about things. Practically everything from like, dislike, love, hate and so on. Showed her my inspirational tree which she has never seen before. And the end of the day, it was a trip I would never forget. We did some crazy stuff too like acting Romi and Juli on this so called balcony. It was fun. Really fun.

Romi and Juli is the mat minah version of Romeo and Juliet

Took a stroll back to town to go back home. Mummy was calling so I had to be back. My girlfriend is the coolest cause she gave me the coolest gift ever! I don't want to show it cause people might steal the idea. Let's just say, its way cooler than the things you buy off the shelves and also those flowers you see people holding onto. Way cooler! I love her many many ah.




I'm back. Well, not really but I've got a new layout for my blog now. Thanks to my brother for messing up the navigation and getting this thing up. When I mean mess up, he actually went the extra mile to help get it right. Man, I'm starting to love his hidden abilities. I'm embarrassed of it, cause STA actually thought me HTML but I couldn't care less to learn it. Now, I"m left to add a little more color to the page cause it's too black and white though I love it. And my brother taught it was very cool to put this at the front page..


Must be some kind of joke he thought was funny. I'll let it be for the time being. It makes me smile and wonder why he put that in the first place. Then it came back to me that engineers always have some inside joke that they placed in their programs. Kind of weird but if it makes them happy, go ahead.

So I did dress up for an occasion today. The dress code was Gangs of New York. Well, I could dress up as a mat in Gangs of Singapore but it was really hard to dress up for the party. I could have been a mat who visited New York but I figure I went a little formal today. So I did. Felt like dancing but I held back my dancing feet. So I thought there was going to be a party but I gave up halfway. It was too boring. So, being Scofield for the day, I escaped with Sarah to go to Panama.

Played Mad Magazine board game with Natasha, Prissy and the twins. It's this really crazy and confusing game. Apparently, they don't sell the board game any more in Singapore so I'm pretty happy they still have it with them. So the game is pretty simple to play. You get a fixed amount of money and the objective is to be the first to lose all your money. And in order to do that, you'll have to do the craziest stuff and most of it is pretty confusing but FUN. Love the family. But anyways, if you're interested, go Google search the thing to know more. Its a must to play it at least once in your sane life.





I love you, that I have to admit. I'll never lie about that. At the same time, I hate you. I've been through alot to be where we are now and there is no way I'm going to let it fall again. And may I emphasize the word AGAIN in the sentence. Maybe, this is one of the reasons why I'm always there for you. Maybe its one of the reasons why I'm treating you like my own. Cause I don't want to fail. I can't accept failure. I've been through there once and never am I going through that again. That's why you'll have to learn it the hard way. I'm sorry but I hope you get what I'm trying to say. It's a clue for you to work on it. I want to sit somewhere far and admire my work. My mistake that I took it my way. I should have never done that. Mistake learnt, life must go on. I love my Babies.




The holidays are coming and I think I'm mentally prepared to work my ass off and keep myself busy. I'm getting myself into a lot of things. I just applied for a job at Sentosa and hoping my bro Raheem can help me get in. He's working there and he is trying to fit my ass in the workforce. If I do get in, be prepared to see less of me. I'm motivate in someway to get my own form of transportation soon. Shit, means less time with her. Grr. She will be busy with some National Arts Council thing. Of course I'm supportive of that.

I've also decided to try my hands on the Kid's Central host thing. Crazy idea but hey, it's kind of cool. I love kids so what's so bad about it. Hmm, it's a step to what I enjoy doing. Well, maybe a platform. Late Febuary will a busy month for me cause I'll be going for some auditions for a production. Well, it has always been my passion to perform drama so yeah, I'm going back to where I started. I think, I can never leave that.

Ah yes, I'm lazy now. Woohoo.




Was supposed to be at Rouge for Lyn's birthday party but I decided not to go, for some personal reasons. Lyn's my girlfriend's friend. Well, she's my friend too so yeah. So it was stay home Saturday for me. My girlfriend really wanted me to tag along. Really sorry love I couldn't make it. She has her ways to knock some sense into me. I love my girlfriend.

Me: You'll have a great time there with them.
She: Yes I'll have a great time, but I'll have a greater time with you.

She makes me weak in my knees sometimes, actually most of the times.

Me: What if I start flirting and kissing with some other girl and you found out about it.
She: When people are in love, they would know what to do.

It's this thing we call reverse psychology. I think its hard to lie to each other cause of the obvious reason. We both are passionate liars. Well, not really but aren't actors always lying. I always tell her that you can never lie to a liar.

I woke up pretty late today. Not an everyday thing so I guess it was okay. The time was 1 plus when I received this..


I think that's it for today. Check this site out while you're at it.

http://www.rekaone.com/

One of the ideas I had for those bubble things. Pretty easy to create.




I'm sorry if I've not been updating lately. I just don't know what to blog about this few days and each time I try to be creative and come up with something new, I just lose it and I'll end up thinking about her. I would be lying if I said I never enjoy the time I have with her. Everyday seems to be a new day, a new discovery. Sounds a little cheesy I must admit but its true. Its like this daily confession routine that we go through and each time, I learn something new about the person and about my own self.

10 days has passed and it certainly feels like it has been years. I still think of stuff that I shouldn't be thinking of. And I think its ridiculous that I'm feeling the way I feel...

Okay, I lost it again.. damn!

I've decided to start my little free, still working on it, portfolio. Its at apizisthename.deviant.com. I need to start something soon..




Currently listening to Justin Timberlake's song, 'What goes around comes around', if that's the title. Just realised that he has some good songs in his album though I still think he sounds like a girl in 'Sexy back'. This song in particular has some good lyrical content if that's the proper term to use. Came across a magazine when I was in Borders and they mentioned something about him being one of the 'Man of year 2007' nominees, alongside a few others like Lil Wayne and Travis Barker. 2007 just started but hey, they are not waiting till the end to see who can make 2007 a better year then 2006.

Met the Babies at Swee Lee to get new toys for the group. Swee Lee doesn't really have what we were looking for so we went on to the other stores and ended up at the same place where we bought our old stuff from. We were at Yamaha, Plaza Singapura, and the guy who we made a deal before was there, so it was easier to negotiate. The girls were busy making music while I was looking through the catalog. It seems we won't be getting what we were looking for but we ordered a few other stuff that I thought was equally important. I hope they are willing to take in our order cause apparently, they stopped bringing in drums from Brazil due to the handling process.

"These Brazilians know how to play soccer but ask them to take care of the drums they don't know" quoted from Calvin, the guy at the desk.

Left the place quite late cause we spend half the time waiting for something to happen but honestly, I don't know what we were waiting for. Met my lovely girlfriend after 'shopping' and we took a stroll down to town from PS. I've not been to town for quite some time and it seems alot has changed. We were at outside Indochine and we came across the band which performs there daily I think. You should check them out if you just want to chill, while standing up of course.

I've been away for quite sometime now cause I'm blogging somewhere else. Oops. You can go take a peep, its at http://weblog.rp.sg/. Yes, its the school's blog. I was just browsing through the site one day and I told myself, hey, I could come up with something more interesting than this. No offence of course. They do have interesting articles but it's not that controversial enough. So far, I have two articles up, 'Singaporean's are kiasu and cows don't have horns' and 'Eh, where they go?' I'll think of more interesting things to talk about once I get myself down...

I got to sleep now cause I got school tomorrow. No joke, I got school tomorrow...

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