Just for the record, I LOVE MY GIRLFRIEND ALOT..
I just felt like putting that down cause you may see me with other girls, but my girlfriend is still
the one who makes me smile. Yes, she is the girl with a million surprises and I'll never get sick of it. And she is the one who can make me feel so bad, she deserves more than just hugs and kisses. This is not a confession segment but a statement to say that
'yes, I have officially lost my marbles and greatly obsess with this thing called Love'. I think its a little bit too much. Nevermind, the idea is still there.
Surprisingly, I had nothing after school today. Very very shocking indeed. Asked around to see if there was anyone out there to save my lost soul but thank God there was the Fee Faan people. Lovely people indeed. Yes, too lovely in fact. I miss the times when the group was doing crazy stuff. Okay... I think I'll stop here and just think of my past...
.: sWeeT :.
The Diary... (shit, it sounds so lame but I just felt like typing that down)As you have
noticed, assuming you keep hitting the
F5 button hoping to see a new entry each night, I've not been blogging frequently for the past few days
(weeks months whatever). Simple reason being,
I've been busy (and still am). Yes. Straight up, no holds bar or whatsoever, I'm
Busy with a capital
B. Thats the
B word that we shall be talking today.
Question would be
"what exactly are you busy with?"Ah ha! A good question asked and I shall now explain
(and justify) with a good enough answer to answer that question. Honestly, I'm busy trying to figure out what
I'm busy with. Shit, hell no. That's not the answer.
The answer would be,
"I'm currently caught up with my Final Year Project assignment"(I just felt it would sound nicer if I mentioned homework twice but with different words used)FYP, for short, has been giving me
alot of headaches and I think if my girlfriend wasn't there to support me and calm me down, I would have committed suicide halfway through the production. Well, of course, literally cause I don't want to die and go to hell. I rather just sleep in peace and die like that at the same time. Come to think of it, How do people know that they are dead? Never mind. We shall leave it as it is cause if I'm here speaking of religion, it would not go anywhere.
So, for the past few
days/weeks/months/years (cross out one), the attention was more focused on the project because we want to leave the school with the sheet of paper which states clearly on the top
'Diploma in Mass Killings of Rats'. Eh no. Wrong.
It would state
'Diploma in New Media which I don't see whats so New about it when we don't even have money to spend on our project'.
That would be the longest ever Diploma certificate attained by anyone in the school. What rubbish. But just imagine if you get, say a certificate like
'Diploma in Karmasutra' or things like
'Diploma for New age Asses' Sound wrong thats for sure but you may never know. From what I heard and read, they are intending to have schools here in Singapore where all you do all the day is play games. I think they have established that somewhere out there in the world but to play games all day? And to think sitting in the library in front of the computer and playing chess is boring enough, you have to play chess for the next 9 hours of the day. Okay, I think I'm already losing it.
.: CheeRs :.
After days of blogging, I've decided to come on by to tell myself that I'm busy but its manageable. And thats about it.
.: i LOVe It :.
Its 8 am in the morning and I'm plucked into my MP3 with songs from
No Use For A Name. I can't go back to sleep cause I just don't feel sleepy. Somehow, I think my body has malfunctioned. Doesn't know how to differentiate between being tired and plain lazy. Okay. No sense in that sentence. So after much debate, I've decided to start yakking here since I'm
damn bored and the thought of what I'm about to start
talking/preaching about suddenly came to me. I told you already, I think I've gone nuts. If there was another word to replace nuts then that would be
insanity!Read the news, I think one or two weeks back, about Singaporean Muslims who turn to become terrorist after reading articles off the net. Was it something like that? I know its along that line but the whole idea is that they decided it would be very cool to become the next Osama Bin Laden just after reading articles off the net. You might as well read it off
Wikipedia and plant your own bombs if that makes you happy.
Smacks head. Didn't this people know about making sure that they are getting it from the right source? Come on, the net is so
massively huge (to the point I just felt like making the words in
bold and
italics) that you wouldn't even know who actually wrote that article. For all you know, he might not be even a Muslim who is going through this whole
jihad thing and thus making a bad name for Muslims. Well, think about it. Its not impossible. Not all Arab people are Muslims. Doesn't mean that they are Arabs makes them an instant Muslim. So let me lay you the facts. The
Quran is in Arabic language. So, this Arab people who are not Muslims, can just pick up the book, read it then wrongly interpret the whole verses and voila, there you go! Terrorism. Seriously, think about it. Its not impossible. In fact, I've seen it before. Not Arabic people of course but my own Malay people doing it.
Its really up to an individual to think about it and don't start jumping the gun just because of how you feel. You should never mix your own personal feelings when it comes to things like this. Its a very sensitive issue. And it doesn't mean that if you don't do anything about it means you don't care. There are certain things we can do and certain things we can't. Things like this should never be settled in our level. We can't control such a mess. All we can do now is to pray that this will somehow die down and this people decide to put their bombs away. As an individual, we should just do what we have to do, the right way.
Islam has never thought us violence. It never thought us to take revenge just because people think its cool to shoot kids. Islam didn't teach us that. Islam thought us to be patient. Everything happens for a reason. We should never question God's will. He knows what he is doing and we don't see it yet why he is doing this. The pieces will fall into place soon. When its time for everyone to know why things are happening the way they are. Islam is a peaceful religion. A religion that is flexible. But with reasons. Its not all about the
tudungs and
Friday prayers. There are more to things to that. Things that can be reasoned out. Like for example, Muslims must pray 5 times a day. So if you can't pray for a very good reason, you can pay it back later in the day. But of course for a very good and reasonable reason. One example would be that you're having a major exam which eats into the period for prayers or who overslept due to fatigue. Like Muslims are not allowed to fast during the fasting month if they are really sick. This are things that actually show how flexible the religion is. Islam never did say '
oh, he killed one of your Muslim brothers, take revenge'Jihad is something very simple. Jihad is not all about war. Not about making bombs and killing more people. Its not a race to be known out there. Jihad can be related to yourself too. Its about fighting against something that you know is wrong. Say for example, you know that if you do this, say drinking alcohol, you will sin. So you're actually fighting with yourself to prevent yourself from drinking alcohol. Thats self Jihad. Jihad can only be done if someone invades your country. You're protecting your mother land and thats worth the term Jihad. If people are not doing anything wrong to you, why bother to do anything to them. And the things that are happening to the Jews and Muslims, that is a curse to them since the prophet's time. And it will never end till the end of the world.
Its totally not cool to be like someone you hate. Be patient about whats going on around you....
.: Now NoW :.
I've just turned 20. Oh wonderful. 20. Such a nice whole number. I never did thought I would have lived to see this age. Honestly. When I was young I always thought it was nice to be a little older but now that I am older, wouldn't it be nice to be young again.
Thanks to all my friends for the well wishes. Lovely indeed. First surprise came in yesterday from Irene and Natasha. Went out to Botak Jones to have a so called farewell dinner for Gurmit who is going to leave for NS tomorrow. Suddenly a box of ice cream came along and about 5 - 6 of the staff members came along to the table to sing a birthday song. Lovely indeed. I was too tired to say anything to be honest with you and I kept quiet the whole time. Note, do not work long hours before the day of your birthday.
Second surprise came in today when I went to meet my girlfriend after her thing at Bukit Batok. She was pissed with me apparently for something I don't really recall saying yesterday night on the phone. Then when I met her at the station, I was acknowledge by three lovely people at the control station. Nicely done by Natasha, Shaun and Shu Hui. Speechless. I felt like as though I just came back from a holiday and the three people were there to welcome me home. Went to Clarke Quay after that with my girlfriend to just take a walk.
Now this is the nest surprise. She told me she has a hamster in her bag which I thought was like a total lie. She was playing the role quite well and then she gave me the present she made for me. Its a Ducati 999s model bike in her lunch box with my face staring back at me when I open it. The best gift I've gotten so far! I was really happy to the point I didn't know what to say. Thats what I'll do when I am lost for words. I'll take a picture of it soon when I want to show it off. Haha. I have the best girlfriend and wonderful people around me. Thank you all for the little surprises.
And psst. I haven't forgotten about the surprise that was done by the babies of beats encore. Such terrible liars but very cute indeed.
.: LOveLy :.
Walking away sounds nice when you can walk away with a smile. Something like when you go shopping and you take back shopping bags filled with clothes and you're reminded by that pretty staff you met at the counter. But walking away then turning back to realize that you made the biggest mistake in your life is sad. Too sad.
After much debate with the other side of me which keeps shouting like an asshole, I've decided to give up everything. Not really everything, but things I don't see necessary to be kept. Why keep things that hurt the most when you can dump it somewhere. Some place far away. Thing is, things like this happen in movies and in reality, maybe one out of a million cases will happen. I never did thing it would be possible to happen to me but what are the chances it will? Will have to do the maths for that.
The day was meant for much needed sleep and the messages which came along with it was put on hold since sleep is much more important than those. I've noticed that Sundays are especially meant for sleeping. Its weird. Its just natural that suddenly the whole body starts to retreat to the bed even if there wasn't a war to begin with. Now, that my friend makes no sense at all. Maybe thats why its called Lazy Sunday. Then again, is there such a term as that? Questions after questions.
Speaking of questions, ever wondered what love really is. I read some emotional to the max blogs and girls in particular are very fond of this four letter word. But, ah ha, this is the catch (at this point of time, you wished your mummy wasn't around to read this blog with you) their love is towards the same gender. Now hold on just a minute, why is there such a trend going around amongst our teenage girls. No offense but I just can't catch the drift if there's any to begin with.
I have friends who have the same feelings towards their own gender and I am okay with that. I don't hate the person but I'm just curious of how it feels like to like someone of the same gender. Oh, don't start it about men. Men are secretive about that side of the wall. I do ask my friends how they feel and stuff and they claim that its the same towards guys. Its just that its more comforting cause they know the girl will treat them better and also the girl understands how they feel. Pretty true but to some certain point only.
Say for example, girls say that we guys don't understand how it feels when they are going through their PMS period or something. Well, we don't have to know how it feels like to actually know whats going on. We can see for ourselves whats going on and it sucks, we understand. Sorry if you ever feel offended at times like that but we do try our best to understand. Then again, girls always use that as an excuse whenever they want to get mad at something or someone.
I've got to go take some rest cause I've got the whole day of work tomorrow. Cheers mate...
.: BrEaTh :.
Before I go on, my sincere apologies for the pop ups if you're experiencing them. My greatest sympathy if you are not able to read my post. My err whatever if you can't seem to understand whatever rubbish there is here. I don't write a
'dear diary' journal here. Those are meant to be kept behind lock doors. But either ways, sorry for any inconvenience caused along the way. Cheer up, you can still hang around. But then again, you wouldn't be able to read this post anyway.
Set my alarm to go off early today and prepared my own wake up call, who is actually Amirah. Thinking if I put the two together, maybe I could wake up on time and be at work on time. Oops, I was late and you don't need to be a genius to know why I was late. I was just plain lazy. Oops. Not lazy but less motivated to come down to work.
Missed the morning briefing so I went down to Merlion to see how they do their morning opening before opening their doors to people who are so fascinated by an imitation. If you actually compare the Merlion on mainland and the one in Singapore, the one in mainland is much more nicer to look at though it is way smaller compared to the one in Sentosa. Maybe when they enlarged the Merlion, they enlarged its ugliness along with it. Either ways, I did that in the morning.
Took a slow wlk back to the office and I'm off to work. Service host for the day and I seriously think I should always sleep early the day before so I'm a service host and not a
zombie host. My eyes almost gave in. And don't get me started about the legs. Trying to find peace in doing my work, I decided to just walk and walk till my legs give in which was what it did at the very last hour of work.
The whole mess came in after work when I lost my locker key which I still think is around somewhere but its just that I didn't notice that its there. Had to break in into my own locker which is quite funny cause its very easy to break in. I don't see why you need keys for that purpose. The keys are there only to keep the person but for 20 minutes the most.
Okay, I'm tired. Nothing fancy today. Monday Botak Jones... Thursday Pulau Ubin... Nice..
.: swEEt :.
Its nice to come back to a place where you can put all your thoughts. Things you wish you could try to explain to people but words are sharper than blades as they say. The past few days have been tiring, fun, insane, shaky, scary, insecure, happy and so many more. I wish I could put all the words in here but it will take forever for me to find the right word to suit the days cause it was all mixed up. Everything was. From school, though it is the holidays, to people to even work.
Work has been fun though I wished I was doing service host more often for the fact that I have the liberty to walk around and talk to people instead of waiting for something to happen cause I can never sit still unless of course I don't see why I should move around. Made alliances along the way but I'm waiting for some to break out from the circle of trust so I got an excuse to make myself happy of hitting someone in the head.
I shall not talk more about the past as in has things in it that scares me alot and I don't wish to remember them or put it in here so that it could trigger my whatever molecules in my head to remind me of something that ought to be forgotten. Sometimes I wonder if I ever make sense of what I write down here cause I don't plan out what to blog about. Begs the question of why am I even saying this to you when you should not understand why I'm putting this down.
Burning question of the day, are you in or out? Now, I rather you be in cause when you're out, the world seems like a more colder lonelier place to be in....
.: ShiVeR :.
Happy Vesak Day for all those who celebrated it today.
Honestly, I forgot which group of people celebrated it but someone cleared it up yesterday during practice. Okay, I know this is random but it just crossed my mind a second while I was typing the previous line down. Aren't we feeding off someone else's happiness? See, when a group of people are commemorating a day or celebrating an event, everyone else who know nuts about what this group of people are doing gets a holiday. Its not like as though you give a holiday and everyone starts to celebrate it. That's something so unique about Singapore. We practically get 4 public holidays, which is confirmed, and much more. The point I'm trying to drive at is that, Singapore is doing a good job at keeping the people together. We feed happiness of each other. Isn't that cool? Err...
That was random. Spent the whole day with the girl at Botanical Gardens. We went cloud watching which I thought was so cool. Who would have thought cloud watching could be boring. It was indeed a form of meditation. Sitting there and admiring God's creation. I was asleep for about an hour while gazing at the sky. What? Its not like as though it was on purpose. The ground was nice, I was lying on a mat, and the free air con that came along with it, pretty obvious it was the wind, made it so nice to take a Garfield nap. I think cats are so cool cause they know when to take a nap and when to stay up to purr for food.
Work schedule is out at I have official only 6 working days at Sentosa. I think I better put in more dates or the bling bling that comes at the end of two weeks will have a single digit on it. I am now very motivated to get myself my own transportation thanks to my friend who kept complaining that I should have one. He claims that man in general should have a form of transportation to support himself. I don't know where he was bringing me in the conversation but coming from a mat who spends half his life under a block, thats worth listening to.
School's becoming more of a routine than a habit. Its like go school, unpack bag, act as if you're working on something really important, go for the longest break of your life, come back to class, suck up to your friend, present, clap your hands, keep awake even if the person talking in front of you is the most boring asshole you have ever laid eyes on and wished you had stayed home to sleep instead of hearing him yak like a baby, pack bag, do some school related work, go home, open your laptop again, close it, shower, bath, shower again, then sleep naked. Okay, with some clothes on. Why can't it be something like this. Go school, take a nice walk with some you love, go class, start bitching about the girl yesterday, go for a break, come back in time for a short discussion session, play games, leave school, go for a coffee break, go home, shower and sleep. That sounds so much nicer.... and of course, unrealistic.
.: whaTevEr :.
