To be really honest, I'm scared of receiving their reactions. Scared of the endless assumptions that they will come up with after watching the whole drama being played in front of them. Scared of accepting the fact that I'm just too bias towards the individual. Scared of losing the trust of the whole community. I'm scared of losing you...
This whole scene has made me realize something about me that I've neglected for a long time. I've always taken things that I know I can't handle into my own hands. I've always taken things too personal, making it a hazard at times. I've been trained to be politically right, but human feelings always become a factor in any form of decision I make. Makes me wonder how politicians never got away with corruption...
They say movies are always inspired by real life events. They say movies are possible to happen in real life. That's what they say. I've always closed a ear when I hear what they had to say cause different people have different points to any given circumstance, but I should have listened to them earlier.
Neither was I having high hopes, and neither was I thinking maybe it could be possible. But then again, I'm just lying to myself. The mind says to just give up the past and try to find the future, yet there's always an obstacle to the goals you want in life. Whoever said life was a playground. You must have been influenced by a kid who was growing up being spoon fed with a golden spoon...
Pressure after pressure. Assumptions after another. Yet the mind cannot decide which it has to choose. To follow or not to follow, but the line is already a modified version of the famous line and thus it has turned out to be the greatest cliche created by man who are willing to change in search of what they want, and not what they need...
So if asked to define the meaning of true, no one has the right answer. Unless of course you follow strictly by the books. Books just gives you definitions of the language. But are we missing an important factor here that shapes the decisions we make in life? Screw the system for having such a policy of yes and no...
To me, seeing is believing. I've seen so much and went through hell and back. I've experienced enough to know what's the next thing that is going to happen. I'll be a fool not to jump to conclusions. Words are just words. Actions make those words a stronger stand. We need both of them to make a proper structure and enough prayers to hope it will stand longer. Hold on, here are we now...
Jealousy, envy, hatred. Do I need to add more to the list? There's a need to remember the past. The past helps to create a sense of urgency to tell yourself, "hey make up your mind". Looking around the crowd, they all have happy faces on them. You have no choice but to put on a show so as to not stand out too much and be spotted by the higher officials. Making sure that you be good and join in the fun with a frown in your heart. How long must this massacre last? Can any human last that long enough to proclaim himself a winner of a losing war...
It's easy but complicated. It's expensive but affordable. It's just that it takes more than just that look to prove your innocence. Who are we to judge? Who will be the one standing in front giving orders? Will it be me? Or will it be you... I don't call the shots now. We do, but I'll have the final say to it. Shit, now it sounds like a dejavu. Wait, it is one...
The longer I go on, the longer I'll have to suffer. What ever happened to 'let it all slip away'? Times have changed and so do people. We can't expect much especially when smiles are just a form of donation to the handicap. When hugs are a form of formality. When kisses are just a way of saying goodbyes...
You made me realized that life is all about risk. I took it. I took the risk of losing someone which may have either affected my life in a good or bad way. Neither could predict the future and neither could predict where we are standing today. But above all, it was a risk I took because I followed my companion. I followed it to the ends of the world. I could have given up everything to show the utmost sincerity that I could have ever possessed. I could have been with you...
Now, it's all starting again. Now with a different you. A different approached. A different tactic. A different way of hunting. It's like this dream you have which keeps repeating itself. Like a soap opera which never ends. Nobody likes 'to be continued' stories cause humans are always the curious creatures around even how religious you may be. There's bound to have such things strike you at a certain time. But it could be filtered. Maybe. God knows...
It's easy to understand. All you have to do is to assume a name and put it in. It can be anyone you know or you think you know. Then read it all over again. One could explain at least five different stories which somehow interlink which each other. It takes you back to the past and present. It's easy, if you know how to do it right...
rebellious. Going against tradition of following theories of a proper line. Who ever said that creativity could be thought. It comes naturally like a crying baby. It's easier for me to reflect upon it. It helps me forget stuff. I don't really care what people say or think. They have their on minds to keep and my own problems that look more like a lecture brought to you by your friendly neighborhood lecturer who always seem to be enjoying what people hate. Again, screw it...
Fatigue. Something I've not used for a long time. Since the day I remembered who I was and what I was doing. It's time to raise the white flag and surrender...
.: We eNd it WitH tRusT anD HoPe :.
