Put here anything you want like a disclaimer, welcome message, anything. Even a counter.

Well if you notice the trend, yes, I've been hit with the 'L' sickness. Its the Lazy sickness, just in case you got it wrong. So I'm going to do this short and sweet... Ready?

1. Went to catch Wicked Aura in towm. My comments? Speechless...

2. Headed to Bukit Panjang plaza to perform. My comments? Speechless...

3. Went back home to sleep. My comments? Priceless...

So that's it for today. Sweet don't you think so?




After the recent earthquake in Taiwan (if I'm not mistaken) Internet cables were broken thus leading to disruptions in Internet services (especially for American sites) So with stories like this which make headline news, I've decided to take a break from blogging cause I don't want to wait so long just to open Google (cause now mine is redirected from Google accounts) Little did I know that it doesn't really take that long to load up the dashboard page but it takes a longer time to open up my blog cause the picture is from Photo Bucket. I'm assuming now that Photo Bucket is an American site. But whatever it is, the cable guys are doing their job which may take days or even weeks so lets all pray that it will take hours instead. Singnet should reduce the price for using the net now since its really no use even if you have the fastest modem. You still have to wait for a page to load. Only difference is that you wait for a shorter time. Err. Okay Fine, maybe they shouldn't do anything about the price.

Currently plugged in to Malay songs, Gemuruh by Wings and Amy Search to be exact. The more I listen to Amy Search, the more I wonder how the guy can maintain his screaming voice. And the best part about him is that he can maintain his face too at the same time. You've seen people screaming their lungs out during concerts and stuff. Pretty obvious that you will see a few things. You get to see their veins from their necks popping out like as though they are going to burst. Then the inevitable 'close my eyes and hope the crowd doesn't close their ears while I scream' eyes. And the best part is that they 'blush' really badly after they scream. But you don't really see that in Amy's performances. He still screams but with a straight face. How the hell does he do that?

I remember a friend of mine telling me about the lead singer of Linkin Park, Chester, a few years back. The guy actually had a chronic disease cause apparently something from his stomach came out. I don't know how true this is but I sure now that Chester was hospitalised for something thus he couldn't perform for one of their concerts. Pretty scary cause I was doing a cover of Linkin Park back then so just imagine how I felt after each screaming session.

But to be honest, though how much you hate old Malay songs, their songs are addictive if you give it time. I still don't get it why people go "eee lagu jiwang" Just so I thought I do my fellow 'Jiwang followers' a favour and clear up everything. Here I go. See, this people who you so called criticise alot are actually legends. Their songs are lyrically poetic so don't mess it up with pure Jiwang. And it's not easy to compose such poetic lyrics now. Name me a band now that has such beautiful lyrics which can be compared to bands in their era. Though they may not the cut for a model but their songs are very sincere. Like I said, it takes time to really appreciate them. So do yourself a favour and get inspired.

Now, a piture which I find very interesting...


This is actually Natasha's bear. I went over to her house the other day just for fun and here's the bear that has made her family very excited about. (Referring to her sisters and cousins actually) I seriously think Russ would want to consider doing a little research before naming their bears. So what's next? Koonek?




Let me remind you and myself that I am not doing a software review. I'll be showing you what you'll see in Internet Explorer that you won't see in Mozilla FireFox, and likewise. (I'm referring to my Blog) Just in case you've got no idea as in to what I'm talking about, I'm actually talking about the two different Internet browsers that people are using currently. There will be pictures accompanying my words, so refer to the pictures to get an idea of what I'm saying in case my words fail to bring the message across to you. Click on them to enlarge cause they are pretty small. And yes, I've placed circles and arrows to point out the differences for clearer reference. You don't have to squint your eye to see and start searching all over the place. It will be in this format, IE first, followed by FireFox. Ready?



So if you were to open up my blog, this will be the first thing that you will see. Depending on your browser theme that is. I'm using the default theme for IE while in FireFox I'm using Noia 2.0 (eXtreme). You can actually see how different it is with regards to the style. Two completely different out looks. You might want to consider of not having the welcoming note if you want to be on the safe side.



Look at the scrolling message in both browsers. The message in IE is aligned to the left while in FireFox, it is aligned to the center. Weird don't you think so? The circle is actually showing you that in IE, you won't be able to see the Icon that you can see in FireFox. The Icon is actually a black and white picture of me and Mummy. And the last thing you will notice is that in FireFox, you won't be able to see the scrolling message, on the bottom left hand side of the screen, which IE is capable of showing. Hang around long enough and you'll see a story that you can't read off from FireFox.



If you were to press 'Backstage' in IE, that is what you will get and at the bottom left hand corner of the screen. You will see an 'Error On Page' message. And it happens to all the other navigations as well, except 'the script' where you get to see all the entries that I've posted. FireFox doesn't have a problem with it though which I think is pretty messed up. It can't be the codes that is causing this problem. Come to think of it, now I'm confused as in to what is causing this major difference and errors. I know FireFox cannot support some scripts but why can't my IE respond to the navigations? Something to work on if I have the time to spare.

So that's the end of my research. So now, it's up to you. Do you want to use IE or FireFox to view my blog? I'll be back at night...




Had a family gathering in the late afternoon. Someone came up with the idea to have an 'exchange gift' session. It's pretty simple. You buy a gift,which will be marked with numbers, and then you put it in the 'safe'. So you pick a random number from a bowl and there you have it, an exchange in gift! If you're lucky that is. Pray hard and you won't get your own present. The chances? I would say its your luck. The adults were busy playing Bingo, I was more into playing cards and typing 1% of my 'Rock Jadi Jadi' script. Pictures will be up soon once I get a USB cable. I can't seem to find any cable in my grandma's house. Must be hidden somewhere behind the computer.

So anyone interested in a story? Well, even if you don't fancy a story, I would tell it anyways cause afterall, it was your choice to come visit this site. I'm working on a new script for MCG next year. Its called 'Rock Jadi Jadi' and the story revolves around this guy called Hazwan (the names are all tentative now) It will be a musical, nothing to do with Singapore Polytechnic's Muzikarama just in case you thought I was inspired by that. It was more to the show I saw at NUS, Something about Melayu that triggered me to do this.

The story that I'll be writing about is pretty mixed up with personal experiences and also a famous Hollywood storyline. If you get a chance to see it, you'll notice a Grease feel to it plus a little fairytale. I'm still working on it slowly and hope to see it done by early next year. I'm aiming towards mid January. I don't really have a main star in the show cause I like to give all my characters their fame on stage. So want to hear more?

They will be 15 characters in total and I would be adding more to it soon. Hazwan is the so called leader of JR (which stands for Janji Rock) while Zaiton is the leader of BF (Budak Fairies) Hazwan is the typical MBB (Mat bawah block) except the fact that he doesn't like the whole image idea thing. Zaiton in the other hand is your typical naive girl who is so decent that they will be a particular scene where she... okay, I won't tell you but there will be a sex scene. Oops.

Little did they know that their best friend, from each gang, is actually so in love with each other. They were fated to meet again while Hazwan's gang was disturbing Khairul, a sissy boy. In order to save Khairul from the Mats, Zaiton claimed that Khairul is her boyfriend. Hazwan was actually attracted to Zaiton at first glance but because she was a girl who wore a headscarf, he didn't dare utter a word of interest.

So the two were seperated again and then comes in the part which I think will turn the tables around. I've came up with this character called Cicak and Tupai. Cicak is the head of a gang who is trying to get his hands on Hazwan but, he is half deaf. He can hardly hear what people are saying and his right hand man is a nerd. So you've got to check out that scene!

There are other characters to which will bring up the two main characters. There's the classic angel and devil but their work is vice versa. Kind of hard to pull off but hey, its a start. There's Hazwan's mum and budak selenge who will be narrating the story and telling it from my behalf. He's sort of the script writers right hand man, aka me! Back to the story..

So Romeo loves Juliet, Juliet hates Romeo so Romeo must act good in order to attract Juliet. While in the process Juliet likes Romeo but Khairul (I can't think of any other Skakespear character names) likes Juliet too. Juliet can't bear to reject Khairul but has plans to get to Romeo. Khairul finds out about their love and summons Cicak to kill Romeo.. and shit! Now it sounds like a Shakespear story. So yeah.. then you'll have to wait till I get my facts right..

Till then.. Enjoy! Merry Christmas. And a happy new year!





Oh, I thought it would be a nice thing to just put my own counter to remind myself how long it has been since I took my last puff. Let's see how long this counter thing can last. Hopefully it reaches two digits. And the days turn to months. And the counting doesn't stop... I pray long and hard.

It's 4.32 am now. I woke up from my sleep earlier than expected. I was having a 'leak' in the nose earlier and took an early leave at around 1 am. I really need to work out my sleeping schedule. If I go on like this, I can start seeing C's when school reopen for my daily grades. Why? Cause I'll be late for class each day, that's why.

I could never understand why the facilitators have a problem with me being quiet in class. Yes, I understand the need to 'talk' in PBL but it doesn't mean quiet people don't do their work. It's a contradiction if you might say. I'm pretty quiet in class, most of the time unless of course my 'doinkness' comes in and then I become so hyper its like as though class was only meant for me.


Remember Emma asking me. Natasha replied it with a


I just don't see a need to talk unless there's something important. I don't hate my classmates that's for sure. That would be the last thing in my mind to do. I never liked the idea of civil war. I just prefer to work without making too much sound as its just distraction. And there must be something that strikes my head in order for it to work properly. Something like a spark to start a fire burning.

I stayed at Grandma's place today the whole day. I had a really bad sore eye and the idea of going out with one red eye would be a really bad idea. Sometimes I wonder why I continue to do stupid stuff. I need to grow away from this habit of mind. Maybe its just me, then again. Maybe its not. Who cares. I don't.

I left the place without regret. I wanted to turn back and tell myself, 'maybe there's still hope'. The word maybe doesn't sound convincing at all. It's best for both of us. I'll give you a break from your daily chore. You give me my space to breathe. It's immature but it's the best thing to do now. I rather do something stupid now than regret later that I didn't do anything to try to solve what I started. You said it yourself that it all started from me. So why not get rid of the source. Its better this way. Many times I tried. But each time I fall so badly, it hurts thinking about the next time. You think I don't have feelings. You think it's all about me taking and not giving in. I do think. Sometimes so much that it has this after effect which I don't like at all. I do think of the future and where it brings me to. I do pray to God and hope so much that my actions don't affect you in anyway. He's been nice enough to make me stay. A human would have killed at the thought of what's been happening. I lost something so dear while on the way to where I am now. I lost it. I'm trying to get it back. Searching high and low. But it's no where to be found. Its the thought that counts. But its not enough to satisfy the law. I love you. Yes I do. I'm trying my best. I'm trying to. Please don't lose hope on me just yet. I'll be back. And when I do, I'll put back a smile on your face the way I did to you. Please stay...




This is a warning to everyone who is about to pick up smoking.


Today is the fourth day I haven't smoked a single stick. Yes. Four! 4! Empat! F.O.U.R. Chinese believe that four is an unlucky number and if you pronounce it wrongly, it sounds like death (in Mandarin) So, technically, I'm still alive cause I'm doing this blog entry but I'm feeling really F*CKED UP! #$%^&*()*&^%$#$%^&*(@#


I've decided to give myself the cold turkey treatment for various reasons which I will not state. So how does it feel like? It's like fighting with someone you can't even see. It gives you a headache, not cause you can't get your dose of nicotine but because you're constantly thinking if you should smoke or not. It's hard. It's painful. It's living HELL!

I could go on not smoking for a day but four days is just crazy enough. I've been smoking since my secondary school days and became a 'frequent' smoker when I got my 'license' when I came into Polytechnic. I was with Zul and Dan at Suntec and Dan was smoking away at Starbucks. I could have easily taken his cigarettes and smoke away with him. Dan was the 'devil' cause he was telling me to smoke while Zul in the other hand was being the 'angel' and telling me reasons why I shouldn't smoke. The stick was in my hand. The lighter in the other. Dan left to get tissue. I put the stick back into the pack. Thanks Zul...

Yes, I do get cranky when I don't smoke. And yes, I feel very lethargic without it. But life must go on. I hope this doesn't go on for too long cause I can't be feeling low cause I don't get to smoke. Will power lah Baby! So, I came up with a list of positive outcomes from not smoking.. I...

1. save loads of money (one pack cost me $10.40)
2. don't smell of nicotine
3. can keep myself healthy
4. can get kisses... (hehe)
5. will sound like a kid reading off the textbook..

But yeah, there's so many reasons why I shouldn't smoke and the good things that comes with it. Honestly, I'm proud of myself. Err. Yeah. I'll give myself a pat on the back. Ouch. Let's see how much will power I have. Err. Yeah!

I'm starting to like this feeling. Okay that's new year resolution number one. Now to find the next resolution.. Ah yes... hey you! come here! I like you lah! Alaa can lah! Oi! Come hereeeee.....




I'm currently sampling Plus 44's new album, When Your Heart Stops Beating. Go check it out if you want to hear something fresh. Given a choice between Angels and Airwaves and Plus 44, I would go for Plus 44. Reason being it's more catchier compared to AVA's indie influenced songs. I'm comparing this two bands cause the lead singers from both bands happen to be from Blink 182. The legendary punk rock band of the 90's. They have officially disbanded just in case you didn't know. But what ever it is, let's go back to Plus 44.

Two songs you've got to check out, When Your Heart Stops Beating and Baby Come on. Besides the fact that they've got one of the best punk rock/jazz drummers around (that's Travis Barker for you), the band's song is influenced by 80's synth rock and their forte, punk rock beats. If you want to get a feel of 80's rock, go check out Nena's song 99 Luftballoons. If you don't know who Nena is, she's a German 80's new wave rock band singer. Err, just Google her if you get lost. She's pretty significant during that era. I would have loved to link you up but then again, it would spoil the fun of surfing the net. In other words, I'm just lazy.

Music aside, question of the day...


What am I saying? I've been walking around town and I notice groups of people (regardless of race) with the same fashion taste! I understand about this 'concept' thing among youngsters but ain't it a little weird to be walking with say 5 people, and they all with the same fashion taste? Walking beside a friend who has the same tee shirt design is all weird, I can't imagine my friends with the same 'dress code'! I'll give you an example.

Kids who call themselves emo. They have this very strict dress code. Small tee, straight cut jeans, old school Converse shoes and not forgetting the classic 'emo hair' which is the fringe covering half the face. Ah, we forgot one thing, the thick eye liner. Wonder if they go to the same barber and share the same eye liner? Maybe they trade clothes after each outing so they don't have to get new sets! Anyone has any idea how they do it and how they actually form?


I'm just curious cause I can't seem to find anyone with the same fashion sense with me. Oh yeah, the Mats (pronounced Mud and not Mad) under the block could be under my category but I change my 'concept' according to my mood. When ever I go out with the gang, we all have different definitions of 'coolness'. I think that's the thing that makes us 'special' in that sense. I could break it down for you. This is what I said to the gang.

Dan - The guy who's always wearing a tee, Bermuda shorts and never fails to put on a pair of slippers. Dresses up like as though he's going to the beach but owns a freaking good expensive camera! No wonder people would have never thought he is carrying a $3000 camera in his Lowepro bag!

Umar - The guy who puts on his Polo Tee, tucked into his jeans, showing off the belt's buckle with the baggy jeans and old school sneakers. That's pretty simple and it's his trademark. We always tease him by imitating his 'tuck the front shirt' fashion.

Zul - Easier. Baggy tee. Jeans and a pair of jean. The easiest of the lot and there's nothing more to add to it. And if he's not wearing a tee, he will be wearing a RP related Polo and it's hard to lie to someone that we are not from RP.

Apiz - Err, you can spot mi with my tapered or straight cut jeans. Rarity to see me with anything baggy. But I do have oversize shirts and pants in my closet. Small tee and that's it. People say typical Mat but I couldn't be bothered by remarks. I feel comfortable in them.

So, do you see my point? We all have different looks but we still 'sejiwa' together. No, we are not a boyband and we do keep our image as 'clean' as possible. So anyone has got any idea for this phenomenon that's hitting the streets of Singapore? If you do, mail me. Grr..

Okay, so that's the question. Now let me give you a scenario. I was looking at the Friendster posts and this somehow triggered me to do this on my blog. Here's the scenario. Go and think about it and tell me if you have the chance to.


1. Ditch both of them and give a really lame excuse. "My pet turtle died"

2. Pick the one who is more prettier and tell the other to go home and meet another day.

3. Commit suicide.

4. Tell your friends to help you draw lots.

5. Ask both of them, if they are willing to get laid and pick the one who is the least reluctant... Err.. now that sounded really wrong.

6. Hope and pray that it's just a dream and when you open your eyes, you're on your bed.

7. Screw this scenario cause it will never happen to you.

8. (Let me think about it)

9. Ask both of them to meet up and then ditch them last minute.




Screw the weather forecast. It was pretty bright and sunny, not forgetting hot, the whole day except in the late afternoon when it started to rain a little. I was all dressed up in my long sleeved, I won't be cold if I do get wet, clothes and BAM, I just realised that black absorbs heat so fast people might think I've gone swimming in the nearby pool.

Lesson learnt today. Always, ALWAYS Google where you want to go before you actually head down to where ever you're heading to. Two reasons why.

1. Though how small Singapore is, it's still big enough to get lost and you're not the creator of the Singapore roads. So go figure why you should learn the map first.

2. Singapore is a HOT country, except that it flooded yesterday unexpectedly. So you wouldn't want to go round in circles under the freaking hot sun when you're journey actually takes only 10 minutes!


Those were the exact words he said, I think, but I couldn't have heard him wrong. I swear I heard him say that unless of course his navigation and orientation were different from how I visualised it to be but quite impossible. Grr. I was with Zul early in the morning at Holland Village looking for a road called Jalan Puteh Jerneh. Yes, it's weird. So you thought the name of the road is weird (it's Road White Clear for the direct translation) wait till you hear the other names.

We were in Taman Warna (Park Colour) which was near Merah Saga (Red Saga) and around it was Hitam Manis (Black Sweet) and some other weird road names with colour names in them. So yes, we were officially lost in the park full of beautiful colourful roads (no we were not in some fairytale) We were on the verge of killing each other for making the wrong turns. Mirages do occur just in case you didn't know. So after an hour, we reached a spilt road again and there it was, right ahead of us, the place where we wanted to go. The Gamelan's could be heard from afar and that really made a big difference.

We met Mei Yin who was in charge of this whole thing and after talking to everyone there, it made me realised how small Singapore really is. There were all school buddies back then and now they are back to do what they really want to do. They have their own little Friendster link that I wasn't really unaware of. Was thinking to myself, what will I do 20 years down the road? Still hitting Djembes?

Had to go back to school to meet the other STA students who were involved in a new project by the Singapore Police. Yes, I'm currently embarking on this new journey to find artistic freedom. Err, not really but I was pretty interested in making videos for the force. The team consisted of 5 people (which includes me) who are Natasha, Khalis, Nats and Gareth. Let's just say that I'm pretty confident this will work out. I shall name this project err.. Project Police? Project Let's make police learn about Service Learning? Okay, we are still looking for a project name.

See, I just have this thing for people who can make me smile (this applies to girls ONLY) So if you're trying to woo me (oh you would be surprised what people do just to get that little attention from me, Grr) try to make me smile and I'll just melt. Grr. Natasha got me a Christmas card. So sweet of her. I was just speechless for a moment. Was reading the card and yeah, made me smile again and again. There's just something about it that makes it really special. I loike... Now I need to get her something cause she's always getting me stuff. It's not like she gets me really expensive gifts of anything but its the thought that really counts. Like the other time when she went for OBS camp and she picked up seashells and it came with this little note with it. Sweet right? How could I not love that girl...

I was already half dead in school by the time it hit 4 plus. I had to meet Zul again cause I wanted to see the Mardi Gras festival at Clarke Quay. I slept for about half an hour I think on the sofas cause I was really sleepy. I wanted to do something, anything just to wake myself up but it was raining and there was nothing really to do. Natasha was busy fixing her laptop and.. oh yeah there was only two of us.

Left school after the rain stopped and headed of to have dinner. Met the rest of the gang, Dan, Umar and his friend at City Hall and went straight to Clarke Quay to check out the festival. I'm starting to love Brazilian Samba! Though there were girls clad in clothes covering the vital parts and half naked guys with abs to die for, I was more interested it the beats they were making. They were more to a dancing troupe than a percussion band but the songs that were been played had some really cool percussion beats. I want to start a Samba class! Anyone interested?

Okay, I'm off to bed now cause I'm really sleepy and I'm heading off to school again in the morning. I need to really plan out my last minute plans. Err. Yeah. Something like that. And yeah, go check out Teenage magazine. There's a familiar face inside, two in fact. Mummy and Daddy are featured in the poly issue! Go. Buy! Now! $3 only. Whaha...




I found a useful site which you all should go on a regular basis. Why? Cause it's useful when you're out of the house most of the time. Yes, it's the weather forecast.




I slept in front of my laptop. Woke up to realised that I had different MSN windows popping out. Head was spinning like crazy, God knows for what reason. The room's already dark and the family's all sleeping soundly. Rain is pouring like crazy, and it's been raining since morning. I won't be surprised if there was a flood somewhere out there but we can thank the people who created good drainage systems in Singapore. That's what I call efficient.

I got my hands on Dan's sleek Nikon D70. Original plan was to have a 'Nikon D70 DSLR versus my Canon Ixus 7' today and place an IT review here in my blog (I try my best to be as versatile as possible in my blog entries) but it rained the whole day. I didn't even dare take out his camera to try to snap a picture. It takes sometime to fix the lens on and with amateur hands of mine, it would take even longer. Made me wonder how those bloody cameraman, who strap lenses across them like bombs, fix their lenses in less than 10 seconds. Talk about super reload.

So if you were to add 10+8+3 then divide the total by 3, what will you get? The answer's actually Potong Pasir (don't you dare write this in your exam script) Explanation, it's 7 stops away from Outram Park station (stupid idea of mine) We were looking at the area map, hoping to see something interesting to go to since none of us has been to Potong Pasir MRT station before, but it's quite empty there. In fact, there's really nothing happening there to be there in the first place! Dan had this idea to visit the cemetery (no one died, mind you) since we were aimless. On the way, it rained again and we had to seek shelter which brought us to a bus stop. When all fails, go somewhere we are all familiar with, and this place happens to be Bugis.

See, I'm getting really sick of places like City Hall, Raffles Place and Bugis cause we always end up there when we have no where to go.


Inside joke, but besides the point that that line made me laugh my ass off, I need to find somewhere interesting in Singapore. I believe Singapore's not that small. (And so the saying goes that Singapore is just a small red dot on the world map) I want to venture into the unknown places of Singapore. And now I sound like some adventurer for a TV show.

Speaking of unknown places in Singapore, Dan had this idea to go somewhere, some place which I shall not name here cause you all will end up jumping to conclusions. We went there and that's how I got my new name, Ranggak. I'm still 'Google-ing' the word but I can't seem to find what I need to find. Times like this, I need a FMT to do my work. Man, I miss PBL, not!

Okay, this is my shout out to someone...

Hey, I'm truly sorry for what I've done. Yes, sorry won't do any good, I know. I've been really selfish to you guys. I just don't see why the hell I'm doing this but I've done it. I can't turn back time, even if I wanted to. Truly am sorry. I know you guys won't forgive, that I understand. It's been more than once that I've done this to you. Forgiveness is not what I seek, more of a mutual understanding is what I prefer. I tried... and I have my reasons for doing so.

This is my second shout out...

You don't know how much your messages mean to me. Makes me smile from grin to grin each time I read them. Makes me wonder, if I should or shouldn't. Something's holding me back. Something that happened in the past. There's something about you that makes me want to know more. Something about the things you do that makes me question myself. I think, I think, I'm starting to have those stupid feelings again. I think, I think.. I should sleep now.....




I'm in love with her. She makes me go weak in my knees. I can't bear it. Grr....












































































































I'm currently feeling stupid. Listening to the sounds of Rise Against, totally addicted to it. Desperately looking for an alternative. Doing nothing except blogging, which is pretty obvious, and constantly 'Alt Tab-bing' between pages to talk on MSN. I think I need a new routine besides doing nothing beneficial at night. Wasting precious time from sleep and also expensive electrical charges. There's no one online to keep me entertained though I have 400 over contacts, half I don't even know, though some admit we have chatted before. Apparently some people added me through friendster just to say hi. Well, I don't mind it as long as it's consistent cause it's weird to go back to square one which is

"Eh hi. Oh, yeah long time never chat. Who are you again?"

People resort to doing stupid stuff when they feel stupid. I just feel that I needed time off for myself to actually find out what I really want in life. Yes, it's stupid and also dumb! People get affected in the process and the more you do stupid stuffs like this, the more people hate your guts. Well, I don't care what people think. I already have an anti-Hafez clan going out there so the more the merrier. Just make sure you're super anti and not start waving to me when you see me in town cause that's not anti, that's just being hypocritical which I tell is not the way anti-Hafez's should act. Well, screw the people who came up with this idea. What a contradiction..

I feel like as though I've been played out really badly. Eh no, I feel like as though history is repeating itself but this time with someone else. Someone special (macam faham) I think if I were to go on like this, it will become more of a dejavu than a dream come true. Err, that's weird but yeah. Think about it. Eh no, I think about it then I'll tell you. It's just funny how things are. What the hell am I saying? I'm not making any sense but either ways, to make it short, I'm just jealous! You happy now? Yeah, I'm jealous. Like maximum jealous. So jealous that I think it's stupid to become jealous. Grr, now I sound like him. Damn, I hate this feeling!

Besides that point, I'm feeling super sleepy though I did nothing 'big today'. Just shut the hell up! Grr...





Remember Energiser's tag line? So thinking maybe, just maybe, if I were to psych myself up and think I'm the battery in the advertisement, I would be able to keep myself alive (that means up and running without proper sleep) for at least two days. That was a wrong move. Never should I try to pull off that stunt again. Pure insanity.

So besides my very painful eyes, sleepy head and the raging doink hormones inside me which are ready to explode anytime, I'm currently going through a period where sleep is the only option to get myself up and functional. It's not like as though I was dancing the night away, though I wish I was doing so, I was busy doing something which needed at least 70% of my working, sane, mind.

The last two days were spent in school. Was in school on Wednesday night to give the Drama people some support. Pity cause only a handful turned up for the camp. Like Irene said, it looks more like a Drama gathering than a camp. So I reached school around midnight to find out that the whole gang was still alive. They played 'Murderer' and ended up talking about ghost till about 3 in the morning. I was hungry during that hour so had to get my food from 7-11. Natasha tagged along and we went off in search for food. Bought instant noodles, confident that the school has hot water supply, only to find out an hour later after our night walk that the school doesn't have hot water supply. Damn. Went back to the forum to try to take a wink but ended up playing with Natasha till 8 in the morning. I don't remember what we were playing but all I know was that I was in the middle of the forum, sleeping, with an opened umbrella covering my face. Yes, it was pretty obvious that they left me alone cause they had camp while I was just gate crashing it.

Woke up to see Danial and Umar who came from East Coast. They were there cause we had already planned to go to Sentosa to bring my chef from Indonesia around the island. Got up to take a shower and attended a meeting with Kelly. Headed up to TRCC to check out the space and then headed straight to Harbour Front.

So at the end of the day, 5 people turned up for the outing. The chef from the Indonesian Cafe, the baker from Delifrance and the three kids from Republic Polytechnic. We went into three attractions for free all thanks to Raheem. It was embarrassing to enter for free but like what they all say, 'Kalau malu rugi'. The day was fun except that the three kids were high due to deprivation from sleep and it was raining half of the day. Sentosa has changed alot and it's much more of a holiday resort now compared to the old 'let's just slack at the beach' kind of atmosphere. Ate our dinner at 7-11 which was the only affordable place to have something to fill up the stomach and went back to school from there.

I had to complete a workplan which was a month due before 10 am today so had to burn the midnight oil. Thanks to Mummy for helping out and coming down to school so late just to get shooed off to home cause it was getting too late. Hehe. Honestly I didn't know what time it was cause I was sleeping on the chair. Woke up did a few more edits to the work then dozed off again. Natasha woke me up twice. Once to ask if I was okay and the second time to tell me that Dan and Umar wanted to leave to get food for the night.

God knows what time we ended the work (via online) but I was playing with Natasha after I send the last document to Mummy. I think it was 4 am when she fell asleep. I couldn't sleep though I was very tired, so I had to force myself. Woke up at 6 plus and left the room at 7 am to join Dan and Umar who were asleep at the music shop. Woke up again at 9.30 to realise how late I was for work... and I would want to go on but then, it would look more like a schedule than a blog entry.




Pictures we took while we were venturing to Sentosa (this is only 11 out of the 132 pictures we took) The place has changed drastically. I would like to say a big thank you to my bro Raheem for helping us get into the attractions for free. Coolness to the maximum!

Now I'll just let the pictures do the talking. I'll come back at night to talk about it. If I'm still alive...














Currently going through alot of stress.... Maybe next time.




It's hard to try to convince yourself that it will never work out. People have their reasons to do things. Words are merely words. Trying to stop the bleeding. It must be pretty hard to admit that all this while it was just an act to make the director happy. How sweet could that be? Such a beautiful actress on stage smiling down under the stage lights. Beautiful sight. Beautiful script. Beautiful lies. Time was precious. Time meant everything. But it seems time was never for me. Time was spend on other things. You might as well call it a decoy. Call it shit. What are you trying to proof? Just say what you mean. Just kill if you have to...

I just lost interest. I've been messing with fire for too long and I'm waiting for the impossible. Hafez doesn't wait. He moves on. He never looks back... but he always regrets.

.: TuRn aRouNd :.


Currently addicted to the sounds of Rise Against with their single titled Drones. You should go check it out if you have the time. No regrets for any alternative rock fan, trust me. The whole song has this catchy feel to it. You'll be mumbling the lyrics soon after you've heard it a few times.

Worked in the morning. Lucky for us it wasn't as crowded as the day before. It was a little relaxed compared to hell yesterday. Work was fun cause I was busy disturbing everyone, including the manager, and Valent was constantly telling me about the whole leader story again. Little Baby of mine was sick. Go and rest at home lah. So degil! But heard she's feeling better so that's cool. Take care Baby.

Ended work early today and Vieda didn't call to ask me to help her out at the cafe which meant two things. One, I'm damn free. Two, I.. okay I'm out of reasons but the point was that I needed to head off somewhere cause I'm not used to coming home at that hour of the day. Yes I'm strange. Called Dan up to meet and we planned to head down to Bugis, cause the guy wanted to buy something which turned out to be a cool $140 fish eye camera which is really REALLY COOL to the maximum, but we ended up going to Vivo City.

Walked around the place. Pretty big but I just don't like the atmosphere. I don't feel in at all. Feels so.. I can't describe it. Not my place to walk around aimlessly. So yeah, we played arcade cause we happen to pass by the place and I'm dying to play this moving chair motion, motion detector, please do be careful jet fighter game. The game was plain cool. So cool, I wanted to play except that it cost quite a sum to play the 5 minute game (cause I lost after being fired in the ass twice)

Umar joined us in the afternoon and there you have three guys with no where in mind to go. Dan chipped in some money to get me a cool pair of Rip Curl flip flops which I can't fit (will change them tomorrow) disturbed the people at Old Chang Kee and 7-11. I asked them where Sentosa was and how do I get there.

Auntie (OCK) : Near the MRT station there...
Me: MRT is train right?

That was one. The other one.

Me: Mau pergi itu Pulau.. Pulau apa ya Dan?
Guy (7-11) : Sentosa? Boleh jalan masuk ikut situ.
Me: Mesti pakai card apa ya itu. EZ link?
Guy : Saya pun kurang pasti.

So yes we are asses that's for sure but it's all part of the training. Err, some training we are not telling you about. One thing I regretted was to not bring my camera. So, camera phones is the in thing now.

I need sleep now...








Slept at God knows what time yesterday and I swear I couldn't shut my eyes for at least half an hour after I switched the computer off. I need sleeping pills. Anyone has got some to spare? I don't know when this all started but my sleeping cycle has changed drastically. I need a schedule for that. Remind me please...

See, what do you get if you put a guy in Delifrance, who only slept for 2 hours, and you ask him to double up his work productivity cause they were really shorthanded? You get someone who actually made the wrong drink twice. Served the wrong customers twice. Took the wrong order (once only) and made sandwiches in less than a minute, each (I swear I didn't know where that came from but it seems I make them faster when I'm sleepy)

I was on the verge of falling, any time, and the crowd didn't help much at all. Work was hell and I felt that I was at the wrong place, at the wrong time. By the time it reached 3 pm, it became all quite again and I thank God the war's over. What made my whole working experience terrible was a message I received early in the morning.

Miss Celine messaged me to ask for Percussion Ensemble's work plan next year. How could I forget to mail her the work plan! It slipped my mind. And it was due at 6 pm. How crazy can that get? By the time I get home, it would already be close to midnight! Called Fadila up hoping she could help me pull this thing off but she was at work too! Not her fault cause I was the one who forgotten about it. But she was ever so willing to go the extra mile to help and that was really nice of her (and her boyfriend)

Last resort, I had to get Mummy to do it. Message, no reply. Call, no respond. Mummy's still asleep. I remembered her telling me that she had her TNS thing and I was really way behind schedule. I couldn't think straight and my baker was constantly asking about my status. Had to call her house and guess who answered it? Faris, the little kid. The kid was scared to wake his sister up but I kinda forced him to. Thank God I did.

We did the workplan via SMS which took about 3 hours to do? I don't know but it took really long cause I had to hide somewhere to actually write down the workplan and to message her the whole thing (in brief of course) Mummy saved the day! I love you lah Mummy! You rock your own socks lah! Eh.. tu dah salah eh.

But I'm really grateful I've got her. So pretty... smart... eh no.. I mean, cause she's there to save the day and help me out when I'm on the verge of suicide. Mummy.. Can I love you? Can? Okay thanks. I miss you alot lah. No time for me. Hmph.. Nak majok ah..

Anyways, that aside. Valent (the baker) made me think that the kid's got more to him than what people see him as. He told me this...


I don't get the forest story but the whole TEAM thing. Man, that made me felt all better. That guy's got potential to be a good speaker. Maybe councilor. I don't know but he made relax a little. Actually no, he made me forget that I was being too stress and not focusing on what I was suppose to do. Nice guy.

Went off to the Cafe to help out there and met Fadila at night with Fir to talk about next year's plan. I'm starting to feel that the Babies are doing better and more organised. Heard Meme has already planned the chalet thing but I think he forgot about the whole objective of the chalet. Either ways, I think they've grown up. I was Daddy previously, now I'm Godfather. And no Eliza is not Godmother mind you. She's still mummy!





Hate it when things clash. Was suppose to attend Raheem's brother's wedding at Bukit Timah CC but my family wanted me to follow them to Desaru. I couldn't say no to the family cause it was a 'policy' that no one leaves the house on Sundays cause it's 'family day' for us. Yeah, that's why I try to keep my Sunday's free unless of course something like a performance crops out from no where. I hated November. Nevertheless, I loved the busy schedule.

Choose to be with my family cause like what mum said "Family comes first" which is very true. She always uses that line for her 'reverse psychology' trick. Works all the time. Left Singapore pretty late and we were stuck in traffic under the blazing hot sun. One thing to note when you're at the checkpoint. Maybe it's just us but just take note. When you're in Singapore, yeah it is hot but when you cross over to Johor, it gets even hotter but you just cross 100 meters away from your homeland. That's just weird.

Jam aside (I'm talking about the traffic jam 'jam' not the jam which you put on your bread for breakfast jam) we traveled straight to Desaru which took around 2 hours. No joke about that. Johor is way way bigger that Singapore. And their roads, speechless.


We reached Desaru in the late afternoon and headed to the restaurant for lunch. The place has changed alot. I've not been there for nearly 5 - 7 years already and it's all really bad now. The place looks abandoned and everything has changed. Some things were still there like the bridge which was the only access to the beach and also the Go Kart track which was still in tact.





I miss the times when everyone was there together. My uncles, aunties, cousins and grandparents. Everyone's all grown up now and time is just not on our side. Went down to the track and it was fun! Raced my dad down the track and eventually I won cause he crashed into the tires. He overtook me twice (cause I overtook him twice as well) and that's crazy enough. The technicians there were equally happy to see their machines being 'abused' by two Singaporeans.


Overall, I enjoyed my stay in Johor though it was a short trip but family still sounds the best in my ears. I have plans to move there one day, cause the market is way bigger than Singapore but lets just let fate decide for us.

Will be working from 8 am - 10 pm tomorrow. I've got this feeling that I'll break down when it strikes 5 pm. I can't seem to change to 'sleep early' mode any longer. Think I need drugs to help me sleep. Either ways, I'm enjoying the 'doink' moments. Enough said, just look at the pictures... I need sleep... more pictures on another day..




Random pictures...


It's a nice gesture to tell people what that they want to hear. Trust me, that Gold 90.5 FM advertisement, would be the the number one thing everyone would want in life, to be able to hear only the good stuff. So as we take a step back and see what's actually going on, we all know that THAT, is not possible. Not even a single moment of it, unless of course your ear has a filter function which I doubt so cause I would be the first person to have invested in such an invention.

So speaking of the good stuffs, we go back to the people getting it. So you tell people things they want to hear. Fine. But you tell them things they want to hear but you can't keep them. You can't abide to the 'rule'. Yes, there's this rule which is going around. Don't say it just for the sake of saying it. Say it cause you mean it. You might as well shut your gap and don't give hopes that maybe, just maybe, what you say may come true. Disappointed. That's the one word I can describe how I feel. Surprised. That it had to come from you.

People do stupid things when they have that 'feeling' in them. Someone overdosed her drug cause she was feeling neglected by the guy. Someone else almost killed himself just to get the attention of from the girl. Someone else became so paranoid, he would call practically 24/7 of his life, and it's all in the name of Love. For someone else, closer to the heart, he would give up almost anything. He did it once, twice, a few times, but she had to just let him lay in silence in the empty room. You might as well kill him. It takes a shorter, less painful time.

The time now is 4.59 am and ticking. Yes, I woke up from sleep way earlier than expected. Came home around 11.30 pm and slept around 1 am. Now, I'm awake doing this entry. Was chatting with Mummy's little brother, Faris in MSN. The kid's only in primary 3 (he's 9 years old right?) but he's on MSN asking people if they want to play MSN games with him. Cool? Seems to me it's the trend of the small kids to have accounts and to chat with people in the middle of the night. Even my younger cousin, who is of the same age, has his own account and chatting with me at times at 3 am just to say hi.

The kid's adorable and he owes me satay. Haha, won't say why but yeah, satay. I love kids, no doubt about it.

Faris: You look handsome.

Thanks Faris. You score one point for that. He saw my MSN display picture and commented on it. Smart kid. I'm starting to like this kid. But anyways, he went off to watch TV and I had to take a wink before I faint.

Work was crazy. I ended up working from 9 am to 10 pm. Was suppose to clock out at 5 pm but I guess I stay on for a little longer, for an apparent reason. People came in non stop and the crowd was just a pain in the %^&*. I slept at 5 am the day before. Went to work in the morning and BAM! I was super doink at work. Went home with Fadilah and that's the end of the day. Now that I can't sleep, I'll probably finish up what I left... nothing.

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