Put here anything you want like a disclaimer, welcome message, anything. Even a counter.

That will be some of the reasons I'll give you if you ever ask so go ahead and try. Jose was really nice today to let me try one of his new toys. Its a portable sound recorder and the sound that is picked up is perfect. I love the sound quality. All we need now is space to do it.

So there I was, figuring out what to do with the new Tascam HD-P2. Took me about an hour to figure out how to work the thing and I had another hour of fun recording the babies while we did a little drumming.

I'm not going to really mention about today cause there's nothing really happening.. Oh well, have to wait till tomorrow then.













I would lie if I said I didn't have a good time...






Time check. 12.30 am. So there I was walking alone home when my phone starting vibrating. (Well, it was on silent mode for some apparent reason so yeah, it vibrated) It flashed 'private number'. There was only one person who would called me. Must be mum. Picked it up.

Voice: Hello. Hafez please.

Me: Yes. Hafez here (my heart skipped a beat)

Voice: I just wanted to say thank you....*

*Cut short

Voice: I found out the real reason why I didn't want to go to Sofi's* barbeque and go out with Ris*. One is because I don't want to go to her barbeque. I just didn't feel like going for it. And if I go out with Ris* I know you will get mad. And I don't want you to be mad. Cause I'm scared of losing you**

* I think this is how you spell their names
** I think this is what she said cause half the time I was blushing my cheeks off

After so long, I finally have the courage to smile again. This time, I know what I'm getting back in return. I'm still scared. Scared of the past. Scared of the future. But this time round, I want to take that risk. I might as well do it before I loose it all again.

And after so long... someone finally found out who I really am and figured out how I do my things. Only people close to me will understand me (that's my family) but she nailed me down in just a short time. She blew my cover. I love her...





HTML codes. Oh yeah. I forgot about that. Not that I forgotten completely about it, I just couldn't care less about designing something right now. Lazy? Ah yes, the answer to all questions. Actually, more like an excuse for all work loads. Whatever it may be, I'm just not in my 'hey let's all sit and design something' mood. Yes, I work according to my mood. So if you see me doing work, that means something or someone must had struck my head and made me do some work.


I got that message early in the morning. Was talking to Natasha the other day about coming to school earlier than my usual 9 am - 10 am routine. (See, school starts at 8.30 am (that applies to all students in RP) but amazingly, the blogger here thinks its damn cool to stroll in at 10.30 am cause at that time, all eyes will be on him and the facilitator (who never seems to get mad) will always greet him with a smile (and I don't know what's up with this ( ) thing cause now it looks like some math formula)) So I told her that if she motivates me, I'll probably come earlier.

I already had intentions to come early cause we had Expression of Form, so we had to form a group and stay in that group for the next 2 weeks (I think) to set up an exhibition. So I already planned to be with Natasha's team cause for the obvious reasons, I want to slack. Haha. There I was with my new team mates and for once, in my whole entire 12-13 weeks in RP, I did some REAL work. What? I'm proud about it okay.

Went to Jose's lab and guess what he let me bring back home. I took home a tripod stand. Yes, a freaking tripod stand. Well, we are Jose's lab assistant (Natasha and me) so we help him organised and keep the equipments in the lab. I think he's lair is damn cool cause all the EXPENSIVE equipment is in there. I think if we add it all up.. I could buy a car. Maybe not, but close to that. I was thinking maybe a Proton would be nice. Oh, back to the story. Yeah, I brought back a tripod stand and guess what else I got. A freaking cool flash, a 1 GB memory card and a big, waterproofed (tested) bag. And that really made my day. Oh, I'm missing something here haven't I?

Well, I brought back a freaking 'we never loan this to any STA students before' Nikon D70! And that's not all, it came in with a over $1000 zoom lens. I feel so loved. I promise to take nice, beautiful pictures. I want to play it now. Okay, maybe before I sleep cause it's just so tempting. A few things that turn me on... not the sexual way of course.

Ducati Bikes - They make me go weak in my knees.
Canon XL2 - I always wanted to own one for my own but I don't have this icons --> $$
Canon Ixus 7, 8, 9 - Regardless what model as long as it looks sleak.
Nikon D70 - I had a feel of a Nikon D50 I think back in my secondary school days.

So I'm going to take pictures!!









After days or maybe weeks of not proper ranting, I've decided to come back here to bullshit my way in and hopefully get sympathy from the people who read my entries. Yeah right. I don't have to do that to get that kind of attention. I have other means. I think 'the face' thing works. Maybe not on everyone but people who understand me well enough to know what it actually means and what I expect their reaction to be.

Before I go on any further, I just want to tell myself that I should be original. Smacks forehead. Apparently, I'm starting to sound like Natasha who sounds like her sister who sounds like her mother. It's this family thing, I think, cause they all sound the same. I'm not talking about their voices but the way they talk that makes them, uniquely them. And I think I got hook to her way of speaking. Smacks forehead harder. I got to snap out of it. I've never really 'followed' someone's way of speaking before. Actually, I've done it but it was just to piss the person of.

I have this new hobby now and its call 'conteng conteng'. If you translate it to English, I THINK its called scribble scribble. Mum bought me a new pair of white Levi's sneakers cause she knows I'm into shoes and guess what I did to it, I did my 'hobby' on it. But its only on one side. I've not thought about what to do on the other side. Well, basically my left pair is scribbled with drawings and names.

Went home to dig for my hidden marker pens and started writing my name onto the sneakers. I screwed up the first design cause I was pretty confident that I had gold marker pens only to find out later that I don't even own one. Covered it up with white colour pencil and liquid paper. Now it looks a little better than before. Left it halfway cause I was sleepy. Came to class and Malvina gave me this idea that I should just put in layers on it. Meaning, just make it messy. I added a few tribal designs into the inner side of the shoe. I added Natasha's name inside too. So basically one side is 'named' while the other has designs. I wanted to stop there but you see, it's become my hobby already, so I had to continue.




I messed up my HTML codes really badly. So welcome to my new default layout. I'm working on it so give me some time. I haven't gotten that 'mood' to design anything now. I need something to strike me. In fact, I tried doing a replica of my old blog skin and it was pretty bad. So where is my muse....




See, I don't even know if you will be able to see this but I'll try anyways. I think I messed up my codings really badly thus affecting the post that I try to put up in blogger. But then again?

Argh. I'm just lazy!




I really don't know why..
But I'm just not in the mood for anything now..
School.. Beats Encore... Work.. Friends.. Family... Sleep...

Fuck this shit!








Was out with mum and siblings in the afternoon. The initial idea was to head out and just catch some fresh air but I ended up shopping for things I don't really 'need'. Well, there's two stuff which is 'want' and 'need' so what I bought for myself was a 'want' thing. Either ways, I betrayed my shopping buddy. Really sorry Aisyah but I promise we will go out shopping again when I get my pay, and that happens to be err.. in a months time?

The time is pretty early (well technically cause its already way pass my bed time) Speaking of which, I do have this 'doink' mode which will make me go really 'doink'. Doink is this word that I sort of created a year back. Remember Banana in Pyjamas? Well, you know each time they bump into each other and there's this sound effect? Well, that's the sound that made me come up with this word. Well, I've heard words like Toink (I think that was from Aisyah) and Zoink but Doink sounds pretty nice to associate with being 'half dead'. I'm always crazier after midnight so go figure what rubbish I can come up with. If if you think that's crazy, wait till you hear me speak after 2 am. I think Natasha has got a little of the medicine cause she always wakes me up at the wrong time.

There was once when we were sleeping over at Ekkawat's place when she woke me up just to say she couldn't sleep. It was 3 in the morning I think. She woke me up again during drama camp and I ended up sleeping in the middle of the forum with an open umbrella covering my face but made it more significant that someone was there. There were a few more times when she woke me up from sleep but there's just too many to start recalling. I do hope when we are sleeping over at Shaun's house it will be a smooth ride cause I'll be having a performance the next day. Smacks head!

2007 will be a really sweet year for me. I'm going to enter year 3 and I'm still single! Whoa! That's a record. I've never been single for so long. Err. Yah I guess. I'm going to start being serious with work and when I say serious I mean seriously doing some beneficial work. Will be passing the baton to Fadilah who will be leading the Babies. I'll have to let them go and yes I will do that. Was talking to me friend the other day about my disappearing acts. She said that I was capable of doing that and I know damn well that I can. I'll probably do the same to the babies cause goodbyes are hard. That's why I never liked saying goodbyes. Its easier to just leave like that. That's what I did to Drama. But I'll pop by once in awhile to say hi to everyone and to make sure that I get all the hot news. Yes, I do keep track of what people do and what's happening inside so I don't loose them but I don't have to tell you I'm keeping an eye on you or you'll think I'm stalking when in fact I'm just showing my concern indirectly.

I'll be moving on to do some Malay Drama. Each year I take on something new and this time I'm picking what I think will be the most challenging of all. I really suck at my own Mother Tongue and I think my ex school teachers will definitely agree to that. I won't say I'm good at acting cause I still do shake in front of crowds but I enjoy entertaining. That's the proper word to use. Its nice to see people smile when you perform. Makes me happy that way. So what I have to do know is go back to my roots and try to revive that 'Malay-ness' in me. I think I lost it somewhere along the way. I never did really have many Malay friends back that cause people thought I was more on the 'Step London' kind. What? I can't help it if I'm better in the English language. It was pretty easy to score A2 back then. And English was the only A i got.

I think I've just realised that I can get really jealous easily. I don't really know why but it sucks to feel that way. I don't really know why cause I know I don't and should not have anything to do with the person so why am I feeling this way. People say 'oh cause you like her'. As a friend yes. More than that, I'll have to think about it. I've been through hell and back and I think this will never work out well. She's always busy with stuff and I don't really know her that well to say 'oh yeah, she will be doing this on that day'. Get what I mean? I don't really go for things like 'you two look great together' kind of things cause seriously, though how good you may be for each other, doesn't mean it will last. Well take Brad Pitt for example. At the end of the day, he got a hotter chick! Err, kind of random but get the drift. Its all about the loveeeee.. Yeah right. Whoever came up with that?

I'm starting to type down stuff randomly cause I don't really know what to talk about. Each day I think of something 'creative' to talk about cause I can't be going on telling people about my own laundry. So I try to come up with different kinds of stuff. If not daily, weekly. Somehow I feel like as though I've told you this before. Nevermind, I'll tell you again about my great master plan. But besides the point of blogging and what people blog about, I came to realised that guys hardly blog. I got a few who blog on a daily basis but its rare to see a community of them who keep it up. Does that mean that guys can't have their little 'Dear Diary' segment? Beats me. The only reason I came up to blog was because I wanted to remind myself about events worth remembering. I'm starting to forget names and mix up events and dates that sometimes I resort to stupid stuff just to make myself remember stuff.

And speaking of blogging. I really have no idea who the hell is reading my blog. See, the numbers are increasing, not really at a fast rate but good enough to show that there are a handful of people take the time to read crap of their screen. See, I don't mind you reading cause if we are talking about privacy, well, blogs aren't exactly the place to talk about your mum spanking you. What I'm worried about is that somehow, I may offend you in a way or another but then again, I don't really mention names when I'm indirectly cursing you. Oh well, go on reading than. At least I know I have people patronizing it so I have things to talk about and people to gossip about.

Enough nonsense now cause everything is pretty messed up now. I need a little rest after all that walking. And yeah, I'm saying Goodbye... to you soon so if you could do me a favour, spend a little time with me.




Was at work when a couple came in. Tante Lela told me that the girl had asked for a reservation cause she wanted to celebrate her boyfriend's birthday. (I'm assuming he was her boyfriend and not husband cause they were pretty young. But then again, my friend got married when he was 18) So while their food was being cooked, the girl gave him this small little sketch book with colourful words written in it. Okay, fine. I was being a busy body at that point of time but I had a clear view while I was serving the food and looking at the gift was pretty inevitable. Wasn't my fault the guy was holding it up so high for everyone to see.

They looked really sweet together and the girl was in tears. I have no idea why but she was wiping it off her cheek while they were reading something off the laptop. The food which was already been served to them 10 minutes after they came turned cold I think cause they were practically talking and talking like as though the food was never there to begin with. I have to admit that I felt a little jealous. Not cause I can't get the girl but I don't have that significant other for me to pamper.

I miss those days when everyday was a day to try and surprise the other. And each time you see that look on the face, it just makes your day. Its hard to be in a relationship I must admit. I have alot of excuses for not being in one but to name one out of the million, I'm just not ready to settle down yet. But its just nice to pamper someone and be pampered. I have someone who I always pamper now and she pampers me alot but she isn't my significant other that's for sure. She calls me a big baby cause I always want that 'attention' from her.

Okay, think I'll write down my criteria for a wonderful girlfriend. I like girls who have streaks of long brown hair and she must be Eurasian. Err. Okay. That's just a dream. Well basically, I just like someone who understands me well enough to actually predict my next move. I found someone who could actually do that years ago but she was my best friend. She could really read my mind well and she was definitely a good friend to me. I miss her alot that's for sure but something happened between us that kind of jeopardized the whole friendship thing. That's all I can say now. More and I'll probably return back to Emo mode.



Pretty easy to understand, but it meant so much to her. I didn't know she loved me alot to actually tolerate whole heartedly to my nonsense. I regret that's for sure but life has to go on. Maybe I can't count my ex girlfriends with my fingers and maybe I can't count the number of hearts I broke but I can definitely count the number of people who really appreciated me and the number of people that loved me for who I am or was. And out of the many, there was only one who I was willing to give up everything for.... but she will never know how I felt...




I was looking for a picture of Natasha in my computer for Irene, cause she wanted to have our pictures up in a magazine for her write up on alcohol consumption amongst teenagers, when I came upon pictures from Drama Republic's first external performance, Redhill Blues. Its been in the folder for so long now but its been quite some time since I last viewed it. Brought back ALOT of good memories. And I really mean good without the " ".

I couldn't find a single picture of Natasha in my computer so I had to outsource for it. So I'll do myself a favour and post it here. So just in case I need her picture again, I can simple load it up from here. Here she is...








I really do miss those Drama days and I think I'll revive them really soon. Details about our crazy 'roving circus' soon once my brain starts to think of other stuff besides 'robot on wheels' and my ever so loving Babies of Beats Encore. So yeah, I'll be cutting my hair next week and it will be done by Luke Chen, the man behind the scissors. He happens to be my facilitator so now its all about trust. Now.. why was his hair shaved then.....

So this is my current hairstyle. I don't know what he will do to it but I pray to God it will be treated with much love. I love my curls.






























































































After all the laughing and singing.... I really need some sleep. I'll tell you about it some other time..





I just wanted to say,




Cute don't you think so? Okay, I'm starting to sound all gay now but its really cute. To me. And the clothes are actually infant clothes. It was my idea to dress the bear up. We were practically trying baby clothes on the bear and it was down to this 'I'M A MILKAHOLIC' shirt. Its pretty damn cute. Now, this bear will really go well with Pooky. Err, read the previous post to find out who or what Pooky is.


I didn't go for classes today cause I was just plain lazy. Talk about new year resolutions! I just needed a time off for myself and I'm not prepared for school. And okay, I'm cutting my hair soon if it makes you all happy. Grr..





Me: Hey love. What are you doing next Tuesday?

Natasha: Nothing love.

Me: You want to go out?

Natasha: Where to balls?

Me: I'm actually rather aimless now. So do me a favour and decide.

Natasha: Ice skating, roller blading, pitch a tent at the beach, arcade, chocolate buffet, swimming, flower classes, picnic, body piercing. That's about all I can think of huns.

Me: They all sound so cool. Roller blading then. But if it rains, we go play arcade.

So there I was, spending my afternoon at East Coast Park roller blading with Natasha. Skipped the cam whoring part cause the girl's really camera shy and I was busy 'learning' how to skate. I could skate but I was just playing around like as though it was my first time on the wheeled shoes. We went to both ends of the park and yes did the knee give in. Please do take note that Hafez has a terrible problem with his knee. He can't sit too long or stand too long. His knee will just start to become really weak and yes you do not want to know what can or will happen after that.

Was pretty tiring though it was only two hours. I've bladed for longer hours before but she was going really fast and according to my 'speedometer' which was embedded on me (that's my knee) we were going way above speed limit, which was what my knee could handle. I could do 'demon speeds' on two wheels but with eight, no can do. I wasn't built for shoes, with wheels that is.

Ended the day sweaty and I didn't bring spare clothes. Smacks head! Brought her to eat rambutans and she swore to me she has never eaten them. Now I'm wondering, is she really from Singapore. Headed back to 'mainland' which was across East Coast to head to town. See, when my knees start to shake, its not a good thing so I had to sit somewhere and what better place to sit than under a block of flats. So we did just that and started talking about our past.

We were talking about past relationships, ex girlfriends and boyfriends and the best topic was about kisses. No details about that topic though but that topic was so long, it took more than an hour. While I was talking to her about my past, I came to realised that I was a really bad boy. She insisted that I had some good heart in me but I was pretty messed up back then. Damn has time past me by so fast and I'm glad the past is way behind me now.

It started to rain heavily so we had to seek another form of shelter cause the rain was coming in from all directions. Found a pretty nice spot and we started talking about life and how it was. Came to realised that my classmates are constantly asking her about my whereabouts. And according to her, my classmates do keep a look out for me now and then. Sweet of them. I still don't get why the facilitators think people look up to me in class. I'm so damn bloody quiet in class, nobody would have guessed I'm the nosiest in the gang. And apparently, there's a facilitator who loves the ideas I give and yeah it was justified after I told Tasha about the RJ comment that he gave me. Hmm, I got to do something about this. People actually think highly of me. Hey wait... does that mean I got to do something in order for me to live up to their expectations? I'll put that in my new year's resolution.

Went home after that cause I was just too tired to go anywhere else. I'm starting to like this idea of sitting and talking. So many things to talk about and also bitch about but at the end of the day, you learn something new about your friends and also yourself. And yeah, school starts later.. cause it's already past my bed time and into Doink mode.. welcome mama...





I cooked my first dish in the cafe. Kway Teow. I loike... And I was bored so I designed the board again (think this is the third time I'm doing it) Recipe? Holler if you want. Mummy! I'll cook this for you!!










That aside... Here's the second part of my entry...

10, 9, 8... huh? What? You mean I missed it? Oh well, there's always next year. Countdown 2006 was a little weird cause it was Hari Raya Haji. I wasn't even thinking of going to a party. But either ways, that's over so let us welcome in the year 2007 with a.. bang? I'm going to try and squeeze out all my memory cells and try to recall back the 'good', the 'bad' and the 'ugly' of 2006. Wait. Hold on. I'm trying! There were too many 'happening' things in my life I kind of mixed up the year.


I found myself a new 'family' but Drama will always be my number one love, especially the people of Redhill Blues. Beats Encore was formed and yes did we form well. The 'Boss' position thought me loads of stuff about the RP system and believe me, it has taught me some valuable life skills too. Its like an 'all in one' package kind of thing. New friends, with so many kinds of personalities and attitudes. Something I never did regret. 2006 was also the year when I stepped into a new field... STA.


There's really no such thing as #1 cause all good things have to come to an end sooner or later. Made loads of 'enemies' along the way but I'm not here to make you happy. I don't owe you so stop acting like as though I need to repay you a favour. She left me cause I was too committed with work and she was against my 'lifestyle'. I had the ultimate break down after she left and it took me quite some time to get back on my own two feet. And that was the year when I made my biggest mistake... to start an internal conflict between the 'pure blooded' students and the 'hybrids'.


See, I made some people break down along the way but you can always get serviced at the next station. Sorry if I couldn't help much. Made so many pranks that it's starting to feel like as though my life is a daily dose of 'whatever things'. I pulled of the craziest stunt which was to litter and fight back to get back my $200 (I got it back) Cigarettes are like my companion now but I'm slowly cutting down on them. And the list goes on so I will have to stop here.

That's about it. I need some rest now. Ah yes, meeting 'manja' tomorrow...

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