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~This entry was written by an author who just ate to cups of cookies and cream ice cream.~I Natasha am stress. Again. Why? Well because I have been thinking and then I just begun thinking too much and now, not quite yet but almost there...I am freaking out.I am going to break it down into a systematic order so that I can prevent further breaking down.PART 1
First, my boyfriend told me a whole lot of stuff. I freaked out. Well not really. Cause he was there and I had to keep a straight face and pretend that all was calm and cool. But inside I was thinking, "You love me alot? Oh my cheese and crackers, Sha what in the world of chocolates, what have you gotten yourself into?"Jeng jeng jeng.........So there I was at Redhill MRT station reasoning with my beloved boyfriend about why I think so negatively of our relationship and how I am perpetually keep jumping into conclusions of him running away from me or cheating on me or leaving me or.....oh crap. I'm starting to sound desperate now. Moving on, we talked and I listened and I smiled and I held his hand and he let go and I go scared and then it got late and he took the train and I took the train home and then he messaged me."Bla bla bla bla COMMITMENT bla bla bla"Jeng jeng jeng.....There I was, Natasha sitting in the MRT beside a passenger bouncing his bald head to some hip hop song, looking at the SMS, reading it thrice. When suddenly.....KABOOM!Do you know what happened? Do you? Do you? That's right you don't. Cause I haven't told you. Well I tell you now. There I was, Natasha sitting in the MRT beside a passenger bouncing his bald head to some hip hop song, looking at the SMS, reading it thrice when suddenly........I had a moment of self realization. My boyfriend was so intensely committed to me and all I could think about was when he was leaving me. You know if I could look myself in the mirror I would tell myself,"You ungrateful Euralay. The nerve of you downgrading your boyfriend to such a level. He loves you and here you are wasting your time thinking of whether you should have two cups of ice cream instead of three when he leaves you. Outrageous. Natasha, you should be appreciating all the things he did for you. Inclusive of combing your hair all the times you asked him too. And what about that time he held your hand when...........well there you go, Natasha, he doesn't even need a reason to hold you hand. Now where can you find another boy like that? Where damn it? Where?" Alright going overboard. But you know, I think I look better when I scold myself in the mirror. It brings out my eyes. You should try it sometime. Helps with mouth exercise too. Where was I? Oh yes, the moment of self realization. I was not as committed to my boyfriend as he is to me. All this while, as I was traveling around the world, my boyfriend was worried if I was safe or not and me....Little old mean me what thinking if he was cheating on me. Well, Natasha, things are going to change. And its going to start with the ice cream. No more cookies and cream. From now on, its going to be strawberry. Its sweeter and more healthy.And Natasha, trust your boyfriend. You owe it to him. He loves you. All the more reason you should love him more. So as of this day, 27 MAY 2008, 2:26am, I declare that I Natasha Francisca Hamid am really tired and am going to bed. And that I trust my boyfriend, of course. Stay tuned for Part Two. Love loves,Natasha
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