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Tuesday, April 11, 2006 @ Tuesday, April 11, 2006 +

The clock kept ticking and the time just passes me by. Alone i stare into the darkness, looking for a source of light to guide me through. Kept looking high and low but all i could hear was my heavy breathing and steady heartbeat that sounded so loud in the dead silence. As i waited for dawn, the temptation to sink in became too great to resist. it was already time to awaken to a new begining, a new chapter in life.

Almost close to being mentally prepared for what's to come in front of me. The mind could not anymore foreign information now as it is trying to regain what was lost in the process and to snap out of this dream. As i entered what i thought was hell, i felt boredom, confusion and excitement within the inmates. I kept telling myself, assuring myself that i am going to skim through this like how i have always have. It became second nature. It's my way of saying welcome. My way of saying please help me get rid of my pollution which i have always wanted too.

I think i took a sip from the devils cup. An overdosed of jealousy was what i took in. Just too much to even control the drug that is inside. Can't say i made a mistake but it was what i should have seen coming to me. On opposite ends of the world, i felt the distance. If looks was everything, than i have lost badly what i lack.

Tension was building through three different channels. Even though how much i know i hate to admit defeat, this high frequencies was set so high it could have given me a brain fry. It could have burnt the chips, the essential chips to work the equipment.

Constant movements of the hands helped alot. But i realised that i can multi task. Thoughts could be anaylze while i'm busy thinking of how and why the hell i'm even here. I need this. I need this more than anything now. I need to cover my own grave and also as a cure or a vaccination for me. Red eyes and endless yawns, i prefer to fall into darkness when im ready too. I'm waiting. Waiting for fatigue to rule me again and also for her to be somewhere i know she would be safe. I don't know if she knows but each night i worry about where she is and what she's doing. A late reply triggers unnessary assumptions with unjustified statements. Why should i care? Why should i even pollute my own mind? In her eyes..im just a thing of the past....

.: BuRy Me aFteR YoU MuRDeR Me :.





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